


A Hand on the Heart

by albxnx



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: (kinda)soulmateAU, Aaron the annoying third wheel, Alex has severe daddy issues, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, But he is a dork, James is a bean, John is a bean too, Lafayette is a model, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Original Universe, Past Abuse, They got hearts outta their chests, Thomas Jefferson Being an Asshole, Thomas and laf are cousins, Thomas needs help, heart stealers all over the place, herc is a tailor and very hot, this is a shitty AU but welp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-06-04 22:07:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15156629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/albxnx/pseuds/albxnx
Summary: In a world where your "heart" is out of your chest, you can feel someone's emotions and intentions when they touch your Heart (crappy summary, read the first chapter to know more about this AU lol)James lost his Heart and Thomas finds it back. Things add up, and Thomas won't give it back (welp)Hercules doesn’t feel like it’s necessary to use the Heart system. Lafayette is in love with him, but being unable to reach his Heart to show it to him and unable to give him his own Heart to see if he loves him too, two solutions remain: forcing him to touch his to see if he loves him, or stealing his to show him he loves him (who understood ? no one)Alex’s Heart was broken long ago by his abusive father. He is left with a broken Heart, and refuses to let anyone in his life. John is in love with him and tries to convince him to let him touch his pieces of Heart to repair them. But Alex still categorically refuses...Aaron is just the asexual third wheel. But he's nice. I like him :)





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introduction to the AU and characters

“I told you I don’t wanna bring it !”

“But why ?”

“Because I don’t want to !”

 

To prove his point, James shoved the shiny little heart into his bedside table’s drawer and slammed it, damning the pinkish jewel to lonely obscurity. Aaron crossed his arms and sighed.

 

“C’mon James, we’re not leaving until you take it…”

“Then we’re not leaving !”

 

The smaller man sprawled himself on his bed, making it clear that he was not going to change his mind. Aaron rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help but smile in front of his room mate’ stubbornness.

 

“James Madison, you are a real pain in the ass sometimes...”

“Shut up, you’re no better Aaron….”

 

Burr chuckled and sat next to his friend. James averted his eyes, pouty.

 

“C’mon it’d be fun !”

“You’re the one to talk ! You never bring it to events either !”

“That’s cause I’m asexual AND aromantic, and you know it grumpy head...”

 

James humphed and crossed his arms, unable to come up with a proper counterback. Aaron and him were college students. They met on the day they were assigned the same room, and since then they never left each other’ side. Both men had immediately enjoyed each other’s calm presence and rational behaviour. They had grown up to become the closest friends.

 

“Stop calling me that...” Madison mumbled.

“What ?”

“Grumpy head...”

“Sorry but it suits you too well.”

 

James groaned and sat up, his eyebrows furrowing with discontentment.

 

“I don’t get why you’re so eager to see me in a relationship ! You don’t even like relationships, you said it yourself !”

 

Aaron nudged his side.

 

“That’s not the same ! I just want to play the annoying third wheel, see you all flustered and lovestruck, and of course I wanna be your wedding’s witness !”

“Don’t talk about weddings we’re only in college...”

 

The bald man frowned and put a falsely annoyed grin on his face.

 

“James you’re no child anymore ! It is not because you lived through one difficult breakup that you have to give up !”

 

James tensed, suddenly panicked.

 

“It’s not just any breakup Aaron ! I left her because I realized I was gay, and she just slapped me and called me names ! It was terrible ! I’ve never felt so bad !”

 

Burr placed a soothing hand on his friend’ shoulder. He knew about this story, it was one of James’ biggest shame and insecurity. Since that breakup, he refused to go to any social event with his Heart, fearing the very idea of relationship. Aaron himself never carried his anywhere. It was locked in his closet, where no one could find it. Asexual individuals like him weren’t exactly well seen in societal meetings, but James was one of the few persons that accepted Burr for who he was.

Usually, people never left their Hearts at home, and always carried them around. Single persons in search for love wore them on a necklace, while taken ones would wear them on a bracelet. These were only the traditional customs, because some people would wear them as other types of jewellery depending on the fashion trend. To be honest, only people _really_ looking for love or _really_ conservative would wear them on their neck. Most people would just find another place, like the belt for example, until they find their special one and finally put it around their wrist.

Asexuals like Burr only had one possibility: leaving their Hearts at home, or hiding them in their bag or coat. But in a very relationship based society, it wasn’t really a good idea: most people hanging around without a visible Heart were either looking for a fuck, or had poorly managed to take care of it, for they could have lost it or got it brokenby someone. In either case, not carrying yours was usually not very well seen.

 

“James, it’s gonna be fine… Now that you are okay with your sexuality you can finally go and hit on actual guys ! No more hiding !”

“But I’m not good at flirting…”

“Bullshit, I can teach you !”

“You ?”

“Yes me !”

“But you’re...”

“Asexual I know that doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings ! I can still help you with the “make them fall in love” part !”

 

James squinted, not completely convinced. The silence stretched, and Aaron dramatically gasped.

 

“Ah I’m hurt by your mistrust grumpy head !”

“Don’t call me that...”

“Fine ! But no matter your trust in my flirting skills, we’re going to the bar tonight ! I promised John and Alex to come, and they told me Lafayette will be there too !”

 

Madison let out a huge, defeated sigh, making Aaron’ smile widen out of pride. He jumped out of the bed, pulling the chubby man with him. Burr eagerly glanced at the drawer, like an excited child. He didn’t want to startle James by taking it himself. After all, no one had touched his Heart for months now, maybe a year, and thus the smaller man hadn’t felt anyone else’s emotions for a long time. And if James had to feel Aaron’s excitement overload right now, it would be a huge shock for him…

James smiled and bent over to open the drawer, Aaron-the-overly-excited-asexual twitching next to him. Inside, the tiny Heart was shining, filling the enclosed space with its natural red, pink and orange light. Hearts weren’t very big, measuring roughly a thumb’s length. They were very resistant. Nothing could break them, apart from another human’s touch. You could drop it on the floor, or drive over it with a truck, as long as it wasn’t another person’s doing, it could go out without a scratch. However, if someone else were to drop it, intentionally or not, it could shatter to pieces, and you would be left to collect the now insensitive shards to keep them until someone who truly loved you repaired them.

Indeed, a broken heart could only be healed by the touch of someone who was really in love with you. Until then, you were left unable to feel another human’s emotions. Hearts have a very peculiar way of working: if you hold someone else’s Heart, they can feel your emotions, and if you gave them your Heart, you can feel theirs. Couple would exchange their Hearts before putting them on their wrists. You can of course exchange your Hearts in a platonic way, but most people preferred not too. After all, Hearts are fragile in another person’s hands. They can break it or hurt you through it just as much as they can make you feel good by stroking it or kissing it. Hearts are only insensitive in your own hands, or once broken or lost. In this situation, you can’t feel it until someone finds it. Then, you can feel the person’s intentions or emotions, but you can’t do anything else. However, if this person is situated more than a mile away from you, the Heart will search to go back to its owner, and the person who found it can trace you back thanks to their connection with the lost Heart. You can only hope that the person will give it back…

 

James stared at his Heart for a second, then took it. It wasn’t cold nor hot. Just a hard surface, always neat, always shiny. Aaron couldn’t wait anymore. He was pacing around next to the front door.

 

“Come on James let’s go ! John will destroy me !”

“One second, I got a request first.”

 

The bald man stopped and stared at his room mate’ serious expression.

 

“What is it ?”

“I’ll bring my Heart, but I’ll keep it in my coat’s pocket.”

 

Aaron’s eyes widened and he walked up to him.

 

“James… You know people won’t like it… Plus you might get approached by sex hungry weirdos...”

“I know Aaron, but look at you ! You never bring yours and you’re fine !”

“Yes, but it took me a long time before being able to go out without minding the judging glances and obscene comments...”

 

James sighed and smiled at him fondly, placing a hand on his shoulder.

 

“I’ll be fine Aaron… I just… I don’t want to risk getting it stolen or touched by random assholes… I don’t feel ready to… to “feel” again...”

 

It was common place to see people trying to reach out to someone else’s Heart in crowed social areas. You were then assaulted by this person’s feelings, from the starstruck man attempting to show his attraction to the lusty woman expressing her arousal. You could of course report such assaults to the Heart Police, but these were so common that no one really bothered reporting any non-violent case. After all, with you Heart attached to your neck or wrist, it was easy to touch someone without meaning to, in the bus for example. People were used to feel the others’ emotions, even just for a second.

James, having hidden his Heart for months, was very nervous about returning to the emotional mess that was so common to this society.

 

“Alright then,” Burr sceptically nodded, “Just warn me if you feel bad or threatened or anything...”

“Of course, don’t worry !”

 

They put on their coats and James warily placed his Heart in his pocket, then turned to Aaron and smirked.

 

“I guess I can use this occasion to ask Lafayette for flirting advice...”

“Wow rude, grumpy head...”

 

*****

 

“So… tell me about that handsome stranger…” Laurens smirked, reaching out for the beer cans in front of him.

“He’s not a stranger John ! He’s a really talented tailor ! He was responsible for making one of my suits for the last show you know !”

 

John chuckled and emptied one of the cans into a fancy glass, before turning around to meet his interlocutor’s face. Lafayette was sat in front of him, resting his chin on his fist. The French fashion model was obviously daydreaming…

 

“So I get it that he is famous ?”

“I wouldn’t say famous… but he is really good !”

 

The Frenchman’s eyes were sparkling with excitement. John shook his head.

 

“You’re sure you don’t find him amazing just cause he is attractive ?”

“ _Quoi_? No ! Of course not ! He _is_ really good ! I’ll show you the suit if you really don’t believe me !”

 

The offended customer had jumped out of his seat, startling all the persons near him. His sudden movement made the little Heart attached to his right earring spin.

 

“Alright alright ! I believe you ! Just sit down and drink your beer… God are all French people so obnoxiously loud ?”

 

Lafayette pouted and swallowed half his glass out of annoyance. John knew him well, they went to high school together: Lafayette was easily excited, but his mood swings never lasted long.

 

“So how is he like ?” asked John while cleaning an empty glass.

 

As expected, the Frenchman’s eyes immediately lit up, and his plump lips tugged into a bright smile. Everything about him was always shiny anyway. He was a fashion model after all… Perfect skin, perfect beard, perfect curly hair, perfect teeth, tall, muscular… What differentiated Lafayette from any other male model was that he would not hesitate to break the gender stereotypes. Dressed in sparkly suits, the Frenchman would always get his nails done, and his make up was always on point. He was the eyeshadow’s God, the lipstic’s divinity and the glitters’ master.

Today, the bar was crowded, and he definitely stood out, with his ocean blue crop top and his white jeans covered with golden glitters. But what was the most striking about his appearance was his blazing Heart, that he would always wear on his right ear’s earring. Despite people being reluctant to always wear theirs on their neck or wrist, it was quite unusual to wear your Heart on your ear. First, it was a bit heavy, and secondly it was an easy place to touch for random persons. Thankfully, the Heart Earrings, as they were called, were equipped with a technology that allowed the immediate removal of the stone upon any circumstances in which the ear could be endangered. It meant that if someone were to steal your Heart, your ear wouldn’t be torn apart. Though it was another reason why people wouldn’t wear their Hearts on their ear: they could easily get stolen, or fall each time the earring was caught in something.

 

Lafayette sat up in his chair.

“Well first he is tall, dark and reaaally muscular like hell I didn’t know tailors could get that hot !”

“Ahhh… Stereotypes…”

“Shut up ! I’m telling you he’s perfect !”

 

John smiled and put down the glass, taking another wet one.

 

“Only physically ?”

 

The Frenchman’s eyes widened.

 

“ _Bien sûr que non_! He’s super sweet and intelligent ! We talked about politics together while he helped me get dressed !”

“What ? He helped you _get dressed_? Oh. My. God.” laughed Laurens, suddenly interested. “Tell me about it ? Does he look gay ? Was he flustered to see your perfect abs ?”

 

Lafayette burst out laughing, a loud French laugh, and was about to answer, when an annoyed throat clearing resonated from behind John’s back.

The freckled man turned around, and was greeted by his pissed co-worker and room mate, Alexander Hamilton.

 

“Alex ? Did you hear that ? Laf’s gonna try to exchange his Heart !”

 

The Frenchman blushed, and a few girls sat not far away from him straightened up, probably hoping that the hot man’s chosen one was one of them. Hamilton didn’t seem very amused, and he crossed his arms, tapping his foot on the ground.

 

“Yeah well gossiping doesn’t get us paid, John… Get back to work before the boss sees us !”

“C’mon ! He loves us !”

“Don’t care ! You’re gonna get our salary to reduce !”

 

John showed him his tongue, and Alex humphed before turning away to prepare a drink.

Lafayette lowered his voice, a smug grin on his face.

 

“So, when are you planning to take your chance on Alex ?”

 

Laurens almost let go of his glass and blushed madly, earning another one of Lafayette’s loud laughs and another one of Alexander’s pissed glance.

 

“Shut up Laf...” he mumbled, “I don’t even think he’s into me…”

“Damn Laurens, he’s bi and always get pissed when you talk to hot guys like me… What more do you want ?”

 

John smiled shyly, and dried the glass while thinking about his friend’s arguments. True, Alex was very protective over him, but that was just because they were close friends and were going to the same college. Hamilton didn’t have much friends… He was too argumentative and annoying for most people. Plus, he never wore his Heart, and refused to talk about it, which didn’t help his social life. Even John couldn’t get him to open up about its whereabouts.

 

The freckled man placed a hand on his own Heart, around his neck, and fiddled with it nervously. Lafayette noticed it, and gently nudged him.

 

“Come on John, you should tell him, or at least put that Heart elsewhere so people stop hitting on. Put it on your belt ! It’s really trendy amongst the people with undeclared crushes nowadays !”

“But what if he asks why I changed the location ? Or worse, what if he thinks I’m in love with someone else ?”

 

Lafayette sighed, but smiled kindly.

 

“If he asks you can always tell him the truth. Honestly _mon ami_ , I can assure you he is not indifferent to you !”

 

John sighed and looked over to Hamilton, who was serving two women to his left. He couldn’t help but stare at his luscious hair, his perfect beard and his muscled arms.

 

_God I hope Laf is right…_

 

Lafayette followed his gaze and smirked, earning a small “shut up” from an embarrassed John.

Then, the Frenchman checked his phone.

 

“Hey it’s already late… Didn’t you tell me Burr and one of his friends were to pass by before the end of your shift ?”

“Oh yeah right ! James and Aaron ! Don’t worry they’ll be here soon… I bet Aaron had to convince James to get out of his bed first so…”

 

Thanks to dramatical irony, John suddenly caught a glimpse of the bald man and his smaller friend entering the bar. Burr had a natural smile on his face, while Madison seemed very nervous, glancing around him with wide eyes.

John waved at them, and Aaron’s face immediately lit up.

 

“John !”

 

He quickly joined them, James following him closely. Lafayette immediately placed two small kisses on each of the men’s cheeks, earning a nervous chuckle from Burr. Madison’s face completely flushed.

 

“Right...” laughed Burr, “I had completely forgotten about your French weird traditions...”

 

John placed a reassuring hand on James’ shoulder, smiling at his obvious discomfort.

 

“Hey Burr, did you just find another asexual friend ?” asked Lafayette, sipping the remaining drops of his drink.

 

His finger was pointed at James’ Heartless neck.

 

“No no ! He’s just shy and nervous about relationships...”

“Aw c’mon ! A handsome man like you !”

 

James smiled nervously, surprised by the Frenchman’s compliment. He hadn’t gone out very often due to his last breakup, and it was the first time in a while that he met such a beautiful man.

 

John suddenly looked over at the entrance and nudged Lafayette.

 

“Hey Laf, didn’t you tell me your Prince Charming was a muscular dark man living not far away from here ?”

 

Lafayette turned around, following his gaze. His eyes widened.

 

“ _Oh merde ! Oh merde merde merde !_ Laurens, hide me !”

 

He suddenly jumped over the bar, then hid under the desk, followed by Aaron and John’s amused gazes. It could have been a sensible idea if he hadn’t knocked over at least ten glasses during the process. They loudly shattered on the floor, catching the attention of pretty much every customers, including Mulligan.

His eyebrows furrowed, and he walked over to the bar, bending over it.

 

“Lafayette ? Is that you ?”

 

At this point, no one was really paying attention anymore. Except of course for Aaron and James, who silently walked over to another table, trying to keep their calm, Alex, who was mumbling swear words in front of the glass disaster, and John, who was desperately trying to hide his laughter in his hand. He was facing the other way, leaning against the alcohol counter, shaking and choking like a mad man.

Lafayette stayed under the counter for a few more seconds, wide eyed. He looked at John for help, but the freckled man was about to lose it and just ran off into the staff room. Seeing that he wouldn’t get any help, the Frenchman sighed and jumped out of his hiding spot, trying to look as natural as possible. It failed, for his forced smile was everything but natural.

 

“M-Mulligan ! Hey ! Good to see you !”

 

The other man blinked, still confused by this curious situation. Then, a soft smile appeared on his lips, making Lafayette’s heart swell.

 

“C’mon, call me Herc, like everyone…”

“O-Oh… Sure ! C… Call me Laf then !”

 

Hercules laughed, a warm, hearty laugh, and Lafayette flushed even more.

 

“Say Laf, do you often jump over bar counters like that ?”

“Oh hum… No ! Of course not ! I… I was going to help my friends ! They… They work here !”

 

He had hoped that this little improvisation would help him, but Hercules only raised a teasing, doubtful brow.

 

“Does destroying twenty glasses really help them that much ?”

 

Lafayette laughed nervously, ready to cry out of panic.

 

“No ! I mean… These glasses needed to be renewed anyway… I’m just… speeding up the process a little ?”

 

Mulligan remained speechless for a second, and Lafayette thought he was going to die. Literally. Then the dark man burst out laughing again, quickly followed by the Frenchman’s relieved laughter. God this tailor would be the death of him…

 

From the corner of the staff room, Laurens was watching them, satisfied. He was recovering from his laughing fit, trying to find enough strength to face the customers without giggling again. Suddenly, Alexander burst into the room, startling him.

 

“Geez Alex ! Don’t just slam the door like that ! You almost hit me !”

“Bullshit I was careful !”

 

He was all but careful actually… You just had to look at his behaviour to understand that he was in a pretty bad mood.

 

“What’s wrong with you ? You’re completely tensed tonight !”

“Nothing ! It’s just that you’re here, gossiping with Laf while I’m alone to deal with those annoying drunkards in front of whom we have to bend over nicely just because “the customer is king” !”

 

John smiled kindly, and placed a soothing hand on his friend’ shoulder. Hamilton wasn’t a very “chill” person. It was always hard for him not to argue with everyone. But him and Laurens needed this part-time job to help them for their studies. They also had to pay for the little accommodation they rented together, a few streets away from their college.

 

“I’m sorry Alex… I’ll try to be careful from now on...”

 

His crush smiled at him, making John sweat nervously.

 

_Oh please don’t look at me like that…_

 

“It’s fine, I’ve just been a bit tensed lately...”

 

He looked away, something close to concern in his eyes. John decided it was his chance to try and bring up the Heart talk again.

 

“Maybe it would help you to try and make new encounters ? Put on your Heart and show these boys and girls what kind of flirty genius Alexander Hamilton truly is !”

 

Alexander tensed, and John bit his bottom lips. Upon further analysis, it wasn’t such a good idea…

 

“I’m not wearing my Heart...”

“But why ?”

“Because I said so. Now let’s get back to work or we’ll get in troubles !”

 

To show that the discussion was over, Hamilton turned around and left the staff room. John sighed. No matter what Lafayette said, Hamilton remained really distant with him…

 

 

*****

 

What was he doing ? What. Was. He. Doing ? James was standing a few feet away from a handsome guy, alone, twitching nervously on his feet. Behind him, at their table, he could feel Aaron’s excited eyes, waiting for him to make a move. The other guy had his Heart around his neck, meaning that he was single and actively looking for someone. He seemed nice, joking around with two of his obviously taken friends, judging by the Hearts on their wrists.

 

“ _Come on James ! Just say hi James ! It’s nothing James !” Yeah right…_

 

He shouldn’t have gave in to Aaron’ supplications. The guy wasn’t even that attractive.

Madison was about to turn around when his target noticed him. Okay he was maybe a little bit attractive…

 

“What do you want ?”

“Oh hum...”

 

Crap. James was flustered. Perfect.

 

“I… I… Do you… Can I buy you a drink ?”

 

_So smooth I could die…_

 

The other man blinked, then looked at his friends. James was nervously fidgeting with his Heart, waiting for his answer. He was wearing it around his neck, once again thanks to Burr’ supplications.

The three men suddenly burst out laughing and walked away, leaving Madison to his defeat.

 

The poor man gulped and turned around, joining Burr in a few slow steps. His friend had an apologetic look on his face.

 

“Hey don’t worry about those assholes… You deserve better...”

“Yeah right… He wasn’t that hot anyway...”

 

James tried to crack a smile, but it turned into an awkward face. He took his Heart and shoved it in his pocket under Aaron’s disappointed gaze.

 

“Told you I wasn’t good at flirting…”

 

At the bar counter though, some Frenchman, much more skilled in terms of seduction, was finding himself facing a terrible situation. Lafayette had been talking with Hercules for at least fifteen minutes now, but something wasn’t quite right. Indeed, after staring at his crush’s perfect body during the whole conversation, he still couldn’t find his Heart.

The last time they met, for his fashion show, Lafayette had also noticed the absence of the little stone-like object, but he had assumed Mulligan was just keeping his private life out of his professional one. It was rare for people not to carry their Hearts around, even at work, but some persons preferred to wear them only during their free time.

Here, they were in a bar, a place where people could flirt or show off, and Lafayette still couldn’t see the damn Heart…

 

He took a deep breath, and decided to ask the dreaded question.

 

“Say mon ami, are you here for a professional meeting or… for a _fuck_?”

 

_Smooth…_

 

Lafayette bit his lips. Hercules’ eyes had widened, and he blinked.

 

“I beg your pardon ?”

“Aha sorry I mean… hum… I don’t see your Heart… So I assumed…”

 

Hercules’ smile came back, and Lafayette panicked. He was way too hot…

 

“B-But maybe you’re just like… I don’t know… Asexual or something… It’s fine you know I’ve got a friend who’s asexual and...”

“Don’t worry ! Don’t worry ! I see what you mean ! Thing is, I don’t really like to wear my Heart...”

 

Curious, Lafayette’s eyes sparkled with interest. He stopped himself from asking him to develop, feeling that it would be a bit too nosy from him.

But he didn’t have to ask, for Hercules quickly explained himself.

 

“You see, I just feel like the whole Heart system is overrated… I mean, I know it’s natural, and we are born with it and all… But I don’t feel like we absolutely need to use them to live happy relationships… That’s why I don’t use mine… I don’t wanna be labelled as “single” or “taken” by complete strangers…”

 

Lafayette didn’t know what to say. How could he make Hercules know how he felt about him if he couldn’t reach his Heart ? Usually, people would just briefly touch the other one’s Heart to show their interest, but if Mulligan wasn’t carrying his around…

Hercules’ eyes suddenly sparkled with mischief.

 

“But I guess I’m still being labelled as “looking for a fuck”...”

 

Lafayette blushed madly, embarrassed by his own wording. Mulligan let out another one of his hearty, super cute laughs. God… he was in so deep…

 

*****

 

James and Aaron had left the bar in silence at around one am. John had insisted that they stay until the end of their shifts, so they had had to wait despite James’ absolute hatred for crowed places. Especially when alcohol was involved… People would get touchy, and the bar quickly because a living inferno.

 

They arrived home around twenty minutes later.

 

“I still can’t believe how people deal with getting their Hearts touched every five minutes ! Drunk people are so shameless ! They don’t hesitate to grab a random stranger’s one despite their euphoria !” Burr exclaimed, hanging his coat. “Did you see the number of drunk girls that reached out to Lafayette’s Heart once Mulligan left ? He must have felt so many dizzy, lustful or drugged emotions that I still wonder how he could stand straight !”

 

James chuckled. He was exhausted, but getting away from the crowd had lightened his mood.

 

“I guess hot guys like him are used to that kind of contacts… Plus, you’re the one to talk ! It was _you_ who wanted to go the bar tonight !”

“Hey ! It was John’s idea ! I couldn’t turn him down ! We don’t have enough friends to afford to lose one, grumpy head, and you know it !”

 

Madison grumbled, too tired to argue.

He removed his coat and sank his hands into his pocket, searching for his Heart. A bit drunk, he couldn’t feel it at first, and then remembered he put it into another pocket.

 

Aaron was absent mindedly whistling, turning on the lights of their apartment, when he heard James getting agitated next to the front door.

 

“Yow James… You okay with that coat ? Man you have such a low alcohol tolerance… You barely drank two beers and you already struggle with a coat like-”

 

He stopped when he met James’ wide, terrified eyes.

 

“Holy shit Burr… I lost my Heart !”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol so I have no self control and I decided to post this with only one chapter ready. 
> 
> I have a couple of ideas as to what could happen next, but I'll wait for your feedbacks to know if it is worth it.
> 
> I really have no idea about the end though lolol so you can leave ideas hehe
> 
> Jefferson will make his entrance next chapter !!
> 
> Oh and if you don't understand the AU, just tell me and I'll do a brief summary. It comes out of my messy brain so I can understand that it's completely shitty lolol
> 
> Don't hesitate to give your opinion or leave a comment ! Love you ~~


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James lost his Heart, and everyone tries to help. Almost everyone at least...

“He _what_?”

 

John was speechless, waiting for Burr to repeat what he had just said. It was probably just the phone that wasn’t working well… Surely… Hopefully…

 

“James lost his Heart yesterday night ! He had it at the bar, but we don’t know if he lost it there or on the way back home…”

 

Laurens blinked. Losing your Heart was a really, _really_ bad idea. People with twisted intentions could find it and play with it, break it, or never give it back. Plus, it could be lost for good, with no one ever finding it again.

 

“I’m going to call Laf to ask if he noticed anything but I wanted to make sure you and Alex didn’t find it while cleaning the bar yesterday first…”

 

The freckled man tried to remember if he had found something similar to a Heart at the end of the night. Alex and him were working on the last shift, which meant they were the last persons in the bar before closing it. But Hearts were easily noticeable, with their basic “heart” shape, shiny and vibrant colors. If Alex and John had found one while cleaning up, they would have noticed it for sure.

 

“No I’m sorry Aaron, we didn’t find anything...”

“Shit...”

 

John was sat at the breakfast table. He heard Alexander coming in with a tired “G’morning”. Laurens shushed him with a finger, and the other man raised a brow.

The freckled boy couldn’t afford to be distracted by his beauty right now…

 

“You should have called earlier Aaron ! Did you call the Heart cops ? Is James okay ?”

 

The Heart Police were a special unit whose speciality was to investigate on any case involving Hearts. It could go from the simple difficult breakup to extreme situations, like a Heart stealer or the loss of a Heart.

 

“We were completely exhausted, and James was absolutely panicked so I preferred to put him to sleep before calling anyone else… But yes, we called the cops, they’ll put posters in the streets and warn the TV and radio stations. They also promised they’ll send research parties as soon as possible… And James… well… He locked himself in his room… He’s been there since this morning…”

 

John nodded, thoughtful. Next to him, Alex was pouring himself a sixth cup of coffee, earning a scolding glance from his room mate.

 

“Listen Aaron, I’ll call Laf, and I’ll ask Alex to try and reach out for Washington at the Heart Police Department. If someone can get him to speed up the research program, it’s him. You, you try to get James out of his room, and you stay with him.”

“Oh… Okay… Are you sure ?”

“Of course ! Now go, I’ll handle the rest.”

“Okay… Thank you John...”

“No prob’ Burr.”

 

He hung up, turning to Alex. The Caribbean man seemed in better mood than yesterday. He was now eating a bowl of cereal, staring at John to get him to explain the situation to him.

 

“So ? Why should I call Wash ?”

 

Laurens sighed. He knew the Heart subject was a sensitive topic with his friend. George Washington was the head of the Heart Police Department, and Hamilton was very close to him. They had a relationship close to a father-son bound, but Alexander categorically refused to acknowledge this “undeniable” truth.

 

“James lost his Heart on his way home yesterday...”

 

He saw Hamilton tensing up. His gaze darkened, and he brought the spoon to his mouth once more. John said nothing at first, letting the information sink in.

But time was running out, at least for Madison, and he promised Burr he’d call Lafayette.

 

“I just thought it’d be nice of you to call Washington. You two are super close and I’m sure he could do something to make sure the police are doing their best to help James...”

“He should have been more careful...”

 

John raised a brow, surprised by Hamilton’s rudeness. He placed his hands on the table.

 

“Hey ! That’s the least you can do to help him ! He’s your friend !”

“He is Aaron’s friend...”

“And Aaron is your friend. Come on, we’ve known James for years now ! He’s a bit shy, I give you this, but he’s our friend just as much as Burr is !”

 

Hamilton looked away, obviously pissed. John couldn’t believe his own ears. Hearts were linked to your mind and body since your birth. They were important for your social and affective construct. Losing it was a disaster. You could lose your status, your friends, and most of all your emotional responses could be severely damaged. How could Alexander just refuse to help a friend in such a distress ?

  


“Seriously Alex ? I’m just asking you to make one phone call ! Would you react the same way if I were to lose mine ?”

  


Hamilton’s eyes lit up with anger. He jumped out of his chair.

  


“Well it doesn’t matter cause you won’t lose yours ! It’s safely hung around your neck, like any sensible single person would do ! It’s Madison’s only fault if he lost it !”

  


John’s throat tightened and he tried to keep a cold behaviour. However, tears were threatening to fall down his eyes. He couldn’t believe it. Why would Alexander say such things ? It was just free blaming. It wouldn’t help anyone to debate on whether or not James deserved his fate. All John wanted was for Alex to call Washington… Was it so hard ? It shouldn’t be… Apart maybe… If it reminded him of a hard part of his own life… There was only one explanation…

John looked up, determined to finally clear things out.

  


“You lost your Heart, didn’t you ?”

  


Alex’s eyes widened. _Touché_...

  


“You lost it and that’s why you’re so pissed that James wasn’t careful enough. That’s why you never wear it, why you never want to talk about it…”

  


Hamilton’s fists were clenched, shaking with anger. But he dared not to burst out yelling. He cared too much about his friend for that…

Instead, he suddenly tensed down and sighed, looking away in shame.

  


“No John, that’s not why. Don’t talk about things you don’t know...”

“But I want to know !”

  


Alexander felt Laurens grabbing his shoulders, looking at him with shiny eyes.

  


“I want to know Alex ! I wanna help you ! But you don’t let me… Ever since I met you, I’ve never seen it, never been able to reach it… You never even tried to grab mine, while it’s always on my neck !”

  


Hearts weren’t only linked to romantic relationships. Sure, you could quickly touch someone’s Heart to show them your interest, but it was also a perfectly platonic social greeting. Friends, close or not, would occasionally grab each other’ stone to show their affection, or share their emotions. Some people would also try to stroke their opponent’s Heart during arguments, to destabilize them or show their anger. Fear, pain, love, stress, hatred, endearment, disgust… you could share any kind of emotions with the Heart system.

This was one of the reasons why John was so angry. He had never been able to share such deep and real feelings with Alex, despite knowing each other for years. Hamilton didn’t even try to touch Laurens’ to show him his feelings… And of course, John was getting even more worried for James, who could lose these moments of share forever if he didn’t get his Heart back…

  


John needed to know what was wrong with Hamilton, for his own sake and Madison’s.

  


Alexander looked up, meeting his room mate’s vibrant gaze. John could feel his face flushing, and it turned completely crimson when Hamilton softly smiled at him.

The Caribbean man reached out his hand, and placed it on Laurens’ shoulder, making him shiver from the contact. He was wearing his nightclothes, a sleeveless white shirt, meaning that most of his chest and arms were completely naked under the other’s touch.

  


_Oh my god oh my god stay calm John stay calm_

  


Alexander moved his hand, tracing his fingers up until his collarbone. John gulped. He wanted to speak, but couldn’t. So he just remained motionless, hoping that his crush would never stop.

Ever so sweetly, Hamilton trailed his hand down the freckled skin until he was an inch away from the vibrant Heart around his friend’s neck.

John stopped breathing. Softly, Alexander grabbed the artefact, holding it as if it was the most fragile and pretty thing on Earth.

Immediately, Laurens felt a warm, pleasant feeling flowing through his veins and in his chest, loosening his tensed muscles and clearing all the troubles from his mind. He could distinctly recognize the reaction produced by the touch: it was love. Hamilton was in love with him.

John’s mouth opened in an amazed gasp, but his happiness was soon replaced by another emotion, a darker one. As Alexander’s hand remained on his Heart, Laurens could feel a hurricane of negative emotions twirling under the strong sense of love. He felt his bones shivering with fear, and his whole body stiffened, frozen by despair’s coldness. And yet, deep inside his stomach, his guts were burning with shame and envy. Hamilton’s feelings showed that he felt miserable, ashamed of himself, and most of all proved that he actually wanted to use his Heart again.

Suddenly, the Caribbean man removed his hand, and John retrieved the calmness of his own being. It was always a bit exhausting, to feel twice as much emotions as you already feel.

He was about to speak, to ask for an explanation, when Hamilton’s lips silenced him. Time stopped around them, and Laurens felt like his actual heart could explode in his chest. Alexander was _kissing him_.

The touch barely lasted a few seconds though, and soon Hamilton took a step back, smiling softly at his flustered “friend”.

  


“We’ll talk about it later dearest… For now, I’ll go call George while you get in touch with Laf...”

  


He didn’t even let him try to talk. Alex disappeared in his room, leaving a clueless John to cool off in the kitchen.”

  


*****

  


“He _what_?”

  


Lafayette hung up his phone, completely panicked. Madison had lost his Heart ? That was one hell of a situation !

He rushed to his bathroom, washing off his cucumber face mask in a hurry. His Heart jiggled on his ear, shaken by the sudden movement. The French model then headed straight to the kitchen, looking for his cousin.

  


“Thomas ? Thomas !”

  


However, the neat kitchen was completely empty, free from the presence of the other man.

  


_Damn don’t tell me that little slot is still in bed…_

  


Lafayette’s house was extremely big and luxurious. Indeed, he was a very famous model, both in France and in America. But his fortune didn’t only come from his job as a model. His family was also very, _very_ wealthy. One of the wealthiest in both countries too, actually…

But the Frenchman had no problem locating his cousin’s room through the endless white hallways. Thomas never left his room, apart for eating his bowl of mac and cheese for breakfast, lunch and diner. And yet, he usually brought them upstairs… Which meant that Lafayette had quickly learnt the way to his bedroom, the only place where his cousin _lived_.

He arrived in front of the door. The purple door. The only damn purple door in the perfectly white house. Lafayette rolled his eyes. Ah he shouldn’t have accepted his aunt and uncle’s request.

  


“ _Please Laf, give him a room in your house.” “Please Laf, he’ll be happier in New York than here in Virginia.” “Please Laf, he needs to socialize a bit.”_

  


Well weren’t they rich enough to buy their prodigious son an actual house ?

The Frenchman sighed and prepared himself to enter “the amazing and very purple world of Thomas Jefferson, laziest billionaire alive”. He didn’t even bother knocking, and straight up walked in.

  


“Thomas I need your help !”

  


You couldn’t, anywhere in the world, find a messier room. Purple clothes on the bed, magenta stuff on the floor, pink bowls of mac and cheese sparsely left out on the purple desk and fushia bedside tables.

And in the middle of that pinky mess stood Thomas Jefferson, laying on his stomach on the king sized magenta bed, two pods plugged into his ears.

He obviously hadn’t heard Lafayette.

  


“THO-MAS !”

  


This time, the curly haired man turned his head, removing one of his pods with one hand.

  


“Wassup Laf ?”

  


The model sighed, starting to get slightly annoyed by his cousin’s behaviour.

  


“Honestly Thomas, sometimes I wonder if I’m really the youngest one here… You spend your days in your room while you could try to study or make friends !”

  


The other one smiled and rolled over on his back, checking his phone.

  


“Don’t need to, you know I’ll get my parents’ business firm anyway...”

  


It was true. Lafayette’s aunt and uncle, Jefferson’s parents, were at the head of one of the most important business firms in the world. Thomas was their only “heir”, and had been trained since his youngest age to succeed to them. His parents only sent him to his cousin’s house so he can _facultatively_ practice his social skills, and well it wasn’t exactly going as planned…

Lafayette was about to scold his cousin once again, when Thomas turned his head with a smug smile on his face.

  


“Plus, you’re the one to talk about making friends when all you’re interested in lately is your pretty little tailor ~~”

  


The Frenchman immediately flushed, but he tried to keep his calm, placing a hand on his hips.

  


“I’m not here to argue Thomas… A friend of mine is in trouble, I need your help…”

  


Thomas humphed and sat up on his bed with a loud growl, making it clear that he was not going to help out of pleasure.

  


“What do you want ?”

“He lost his Heart...”

  


The Virginian’s eyes sparkled with a new interest, and a hint of amusement.

  


“Well shit… That’s not anything… How did he do that ?”

“This is not the point here ! He lost it on his way home from the bar just a few streets away. It’s closer to our house than theirs. I need you to go to this bar and check the ground from there to our house. I’ll join my friends while looking around from our house to theirs. If we split, it’ll be easier. Could you do that for me please ?”

  


Thomas seemed thoughtful for a second, then sighed, defeated. He got up and stretched, his well-built muscles rolling under his purple T-shirt. Jefferson was just as handsome as his cousin was. Only difference between them was that he let his puffy hair loose, was slightly taller, and that he wore expensive black glasses. Obviously, they were fake, their only purpose being to make him look trendier.

Thomas smirked and walked up to his obviously annoyed cousin. Around his neck hung a fancy choker-necklace, violet and pink, to which was attached his Heart.

  


“Of course I can do that for you, dear cousin ! After all, I’m not _heartless_.”

  


*****

  


Thomas Jefferson was far from being an idiotic brat. He wasn’t a teenager anymore. In fact, he was two years older than his cousin Lafayette.

Thing is, he received a high quality education. He was smart, really smart and he knew it. Another thing he knew was that he was good looking. Really good looking. In the streets, some people stopped him, thinking he was in fact his cousin, the famous French model Lafayette.

It was stupid of them of course, because Lafayette’s most recognizable professional feature was his Heart earring. Any decent “fan” would have noticed that Thomas didn’t have such an earring. He had indeed two very expensive piercings on the longest side of each of his ears, which were very different from his cousin’s plain and only earring. For instance, Jefferson’s piercings were of the darkest and prettiest shade of purple, and Lafayette’s outfits were no match for them.

So Thomas was left to think that everybody was stupid. That was in fact, what his parents had taught him. He was Thomas Jefferson, future leader of the Jefferson firm, which meant that no one could be compared to his genius.

  


And here he was, walking around the streets in his perfect purple T-shirt and black skinny jeans, using his expensive purple heely-boots (two inches heels duh) to look for a random stranger’s Heart. Seriously… who could lose a Heart ? Like… how was it even possible ?

Thomas had almost finished looking around the streets, and he could see Lafayette’s front door already. He was about to give in, considering his job perfectly done, when a shiny object caught his attention. It was just there, on the ground, next to a small garden fence.

  


Thomas got closer, until there was no doubt left. It was a Heart. It was a Sunday morning, so it could explain that no one had found it yet.

  


_Who is crazy enough to get up early on a Sunday morning ?_

  


It was roughly eleven am, but it didn’t matter…

Thomas took the vibrant little Heart and sighed. Now its owner knew someone had found the Heart. They could probably feel his deception right now…

  


_They lost their Heart, I find it, and I’m not even allowed to play with it…_

  


Thomas was a heartbreaker. Not Heartbreaker. Just heartbreaker. Being handsome, lots of girls and even boys had taken their chances on him, but Thomas had always rejected them. After all, he was Thomas Jefferson, he was greater than them… Plus, it was so easy: they looked at him with these big, loving eyes, and he just smiled, his infamous charming smile, reaching out to their Heart to show them the feeling was mutual. And then boom, they felt his amusement, his disdain. Thomas would never crush a Heart; it was illegal, after all… But it was still very funny to see the hope melting into pain in their eyes as they look down in despair…

He was Thomas Jefferson, they should always look down.

  


Thomas stared at the little Heart in his hand. He had never tried playing with someone without them knowing it. It was appealing. Very appealing.

He thought for a second. If he went home quickly, he could hide the Heart, and then act as if he had never found it. After that, the case of “missing Heart” would turn into “stolen Heart”. He would be a criminal. But no one would find out. Because he was smart. He was Thomas Jefferson. Thomas Jefferson the Billionaire. Thomas Jefferson the Heart Stealer.

It was a thrilling prospect.

  


Proud of himself, the purple disaster quickly rushed home, climbing down the stairs two by two.

He was so happy. He’d never get bored again. He’d have someone to play with for the rest of his days.

Jefferson knew the owner could feel his twisted excitation right now. He didn’t care. Soon, he’ll hide the Heart into his special drawer, and it’ll wait here until he could play freely.

He burst into his room and locked the Heart safely. He had been fast, and it was a good thing, because he could hear the key turning into the front door’s locker.

Jefferson heard his name being called.

  


“Thomas ? Thomas are you here ?”

  


The curly haired man took a second to calm his breathing and went down the stairs, catching a glance of his cousin’s worried face.

He placed a natural look on his own.

  


“Thomas ! Did you find the Heart ?”

“No. No I didn’t. That’s why I came home… Why ?”

  


He was a good liar. In fact, he was good at everything. He was Thomas Jefferson, after all.

  


Lafayette’s face turned livid.

  


“Thomas it’s terrible someone found the Heart before us and James said they had terrible intentions !”

  


_James._

So that was his victim’s name…

  


“What intentions ?” he asked, trying to sound as concerned as possible.

  


Lafayette’s voice reached a high pitch, symbol of his stress.

  


“They won’t give the Heart back ! They want to torture it or something !”

  


Thomas could hear a panicked voice next to Lafayette. His friends were probably waiting outside, so he couldn’t see them. A third voice tried to soothe the other person.

Suddenly, the screams of the stressed out one grew louder and closer, and the third voice called out.

  


“James ! Wait !”

  


_James…_

He was gonna see his victim… Great…

  


But the said James didn’t listen. A small, dark man suddenly pushed Lafayette aside and grabbed the staircase’s barrier. He seemed exhausted, and his big black eyes were shining with fear and tears.

  


“Please, are you sure you didn’t see my Heart ?”

  


Thomas blinked.

  


Oh shit… He was cuter than expected...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here comes Thomas Jefferson hehe... Don't worry, I like him too much to turn him into a complete a*shole for the whole fic lol you'll see
> 
> So as you can see some relationships aren't really as slowburns as in my previous fic (except for Jeffmads cause they are my babies and for now well it's not really a good relationship start hehe)
> 
> Hercules will come back next chapter I promise (I'll try lol)
> 
> Still don't know for sure what will happen but oh well I'll see (you can drop ideas hehe)
> 
> Don't hesitate to leave a comment or a kudo !
> 
> Happy 4th of July to my American readers !!!
> 
> See you next chapter !


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas thinks about his encounter with James, and Lafayette tries to deal with his Heartless tailor crush

What. Was. Happening ?

Thomas was feeling weird. Thomas was _feeling_. He was Thomas Jefferson, probably the best human being alive, and he was _feeling_.

No.

Nononononono

Impossible. This was impossible. Feelings were burdens. He knew it. His parents had always told him he had to manipulate them, not be manipulated by them.

Jefferson sat up in his bed, thoughtful. He had met him yesterday. No. Met _it_. _It_ was his victim, the poor little mortal about to become the toy of a human god. Yes, a human god… _James_ should almost be thankful to serve such an honorable purpose.

Thomas had always been taught that in the cruel world of adults, there was an everlasting battle to stay at the top. Thanks to his parents, he was already at the top. He was the apex predator, supposed to scare away the bugs that tried to crawl towards him. And to succeed, he had to repress his feelings to use those of others better.

It was hard though, especially in a society in which your emotions were constantly reachable or manipulatable. Hearts made it difficult to be completely numb to other people’s feelings. Thomas himself, being the utterly attractive person that he was, had had to face the annoying struggles of such an emotionally based social system. How many random girls and boys in the streets, bars, classes, meetings and many more had tried to reach for his Heart, overflowing him with the disgusting feeling of loveless lust and shameless thirst for contact ? He had lost the count…

But Thomas was strong. He was Thomas Jefferson, after all… So he fought back, learnt to dodge the occasional flirty hands, learnt to keep a stone face when the social situation didn’t allow him to refuse contact.

And most of all, he learnt to control his own emotions to manipulate others. He practiced on the lustful boys and girls, grabbing their Heart while thinking about how much he hated their rude manners, about how much they disgusted him. Then, he would see their smile dropping, and he could almost feel their chest tightening and the knot in their throat as they bid him goodbye with a tensed smile. Thomas would also practice with less violent emotions. He would greet a co-worker by exchanging his Heart with theirs briefly, like any polite person would do. Then, he would fake attraction, or sickness, or fear, or even pain.

This was how the Jeffersons had climbed the social ladder. Faking, manipulating, winning. There was no place for feelings here…

  


Thomas was fulminating, glancing at the drawer in which he had hid the Heart. It was the first time a chance like this had appeared, and probably the last. He didn’t know this James, didn’t need to know him. Lafayette’s friends didn’t have to become his. No matter what his parents said, Thomas didn’t need friends. Funny, how they wanted him to make acquaintances while being the ones who taught him to never feel…

  


_Good relationships can help you go far in life kid… Find smart partners, find people with high social status, and you can go higher…_

  


James wasn’t from the high society. Thomas didn’t know him personally, but there was no doubt that he was probably just a random college student. Lafayette never learnt to bond with people of his social class. A shame, really…

Jefferson tried to remember his encounter with the small man, the day just before. His name was… Madston… No… Mad… _Madison_. Yes, that was it.

James Madison.

He was a pitiful man. Very small, he looked prone to sickness. And the way he looked at Thomas with those pleading, reddened eyes… His voice shaken by a gross sob, his chubby cheeks wet and trembling… He was fragile, utterly useless… The kind of person that needed constant protection…

Pathetic…

  


But even though Jefferson was aware of these facts, he couldn’t change the way he was _feeling_. He had _felt_ the little man’s despair, he had seen it in those big shiny eyes of his… And Thomas had felt all of his defences dropping to the floor.

Him. Thomas Jefferson. The human god who had been courted by countless pretty girls and handsome boys…

How was it even possible ? How could this small, sickly, chubby _peasant_ make all of his years of tough emotional training disappear ? Out of all the attractive people on earth, why _him_?

  


Thomas jumped on his feet, his fists tightly clenched. This was unbearable. He took two steps towards his drawer. Inside lied the pitiful human’s Heart. Inside lied a _Heart_. If Thomas was careful, he could keep it for a long, long time, and just drop it somewhere when he gets tired of it. But how could he get tired ? It was a _Heart._ He could enjoy toying with it for years. He could use it when he was angry, sad, afraid… All these emotions he refused to share with anyone, all these emotions he only ever faked to scare away opponents or annoying flirts, he could get rid of all of them by simply touching this fragile Heart. Then, they would become his victim’s burden… You couldn’t of course, make your own feelings disappear by touching a Heart, you could only _show them_ to the other. But knowing that someone else suffered, or at least felt the way you did was usually very cathartic… Especially for Thomas…

  


So why would he get rid of it ? Why would he let himself have _mercy_ on this pitiful individual ?

He didn’t know him… He didn’t want to know him… James was nothing in his amazing, elitist world.

  


_James._

That name again. There was no _James_. There was only his victim. He was the alpha, the apex predator. He couldn’t afford to forget it.

The anger boiling within him was becoming unbearable with every time this name flew through his mind, accompanied by the image of this small, chubby and crying man at his feet.

  


“ _Please, are you sure your didn’t see my Heart ?”_

  


Pathetic… He looked pathetic, so full of sorrow and fear, his wet cheeks shaken by sobs… Would they shake this way if he were to laugh ?

  


No.

Thomas’ eyes grew wide, as the image of that same pitiful man, smiling, his eyes shining with glee, grew within his mind.

No, he couldn’t afford it.

  


Jefferson slammed the drawer open, his hands shaking with anger. The little Heart was still there, bright, radiating a pinkish light.

Would his cheeks be tainted the same color if he were to fall in love ?

  


He… James… or Jefferson ?

Thomas grabbed the Heart, just careful enough not to break it, and hold it tight. He could feel the anger, the hatred, the despise flowing through his veins and into the small stone-like object. Surely his victim was suffering right now… Surely _it_ felt how much he was disgusted by him…

  


Him… James… or Jefferson ?

Thomas was battling between the pain he desperately wanted James to feel, and an unstoppable desire to put the Heart down, to end his suffering.

He clenched his fingers tighter around the Heart, risking to hurt it. He knew James would feel his own chest tightening, as if it was to burst into millions of shards, if he were to press it too hard.

  


But Thomas didn’t care. He could not feel. He could not feel. He couldn’t afford it.

His will, or the Heart… which was to break first ?

  


“Thomas ? Thomas open the door _bordel_ !”

  


Lafayette’s voice put an end to his craze, and he quickly placed the Heart back in the drawer, closing it safely. Jefferson took a deep breath and went to his door to unlock it.

He was greeted by his cousin’s perfect make up. Lafayette never wore this much make up if it wasn’t for a special occasion, a party, or his job. And today, the dark blue eyeshadow was more than perfect, and the golden gloss was one of his most expensive collection. It meant nothing good for Thomas, especially considering the forced smile on his lips. Lafayette was pissed barely a minute ago, which meant he was faking it.

  


“Hey Thoma-”

“Cut the crap, what do you want from me ?”

  


The cheerful expression on his cousin’s face shifted into embarrassment. He looked away, nervously fiddling with his Heart.

  


“Hum well… I.. I need you to do something for me...”

  


Thomas rolled his eyes and leaned against the door frame. Lafayette wasn’t going straight to the point. He knew something annoying awaited him, some house or social chore or something…

  


“What is it ?”

“Well, Burr has college classes to attend today, and Madison is working at the library on his own… Since he lost his Heart barely two days ago, I told him we’d join him… you know… so he’s not alone… just in case...”

  


It was in these moments that Thomas’ emotional training was the most useful. He kept a cold look on his face. Deep inside though, every inch of his body was screaming. He couldn’t see him. He couldn’t see him.

Lafayette still looked as fake as before, like someone who had only said the good side of a truth, but was still thinking about a way to present the negative side.

  


“You aren’t telling me everything, are you ?”

“Well...”

  


The Frenchman stopped fidgeting with his earring and started nervously twitching the belt of his baggy white pants.

  


“I… I’m afraid… I won’t be able to go with you...”

“ _What ?_ ”

“Listen I know you don’t really know James but… I’m sure you’ll get along with him ! It’ll be good for you to talk with people… that’s what your parents want actually…”

“They want me to meet high characters of society, not some random library dude !”

  


Anger was starting to leak out of Thomas’ perfect control mask. It was bad… It was really bad… He couldn’t see him…

Jefferson took a deep breath. He had to stay calm…

  


“And… And why can’t you come ?”

  


That was when Lafayette’s face turned crimson despite the make up.

  


“I _euh…_ I have a professional meeting… For the next show…”

  


He wasn’t telling the whole truth yet, and Thomas was getting annoyed. He rolled his eyes, and with one hand reached to his choker, unlocking his Heart with his fingerprints. Contrary to the Heart Earrings, the necklaces, belts and bracelets were equipped with fingerprint systems. Anybody could touch them, but to remove them, you needed to have an actual digital access.

Lafayette gulped and took a step back, but Thomas was faster. He grabbed the Frenchman’s neck, sticking the Heart in between the sensitive skin and his own hand, and pushing him against the wall. He could feel Lafayette’s pulse rushing under his touch, symbol of his panic, and probably of the lack of air. As his Heart touched the other’ skin, Thomas could immediately feel his cousin’s nervousness and surprise, and just under it, the intense glee, the specific warmth that was a clear indication of excitation and love.

He removed his hand, putting the Heart back on the choker. Lafayette coughed, reaching for his neck to soothe the area on which Jefferson had applied a pressure.

When he looked up, his eyes were dark, shining with anger and shame.

  


“You don’t have to do that to get what you want, Thomas…”

  


But Jefferson couldn’t care less.

  


“You’re gonna see your tailor aren’t ya ?”

  


Lafayette tensed. He straightened up, and looked away.

  


“Yes… But I’m really going there for professional reasons… He’s got new suits for me...”

  


Still, Lafayette’s eyes were sparkling with happiness. Thomas humphed and began walking down the corridor.

  


“Hey Thomas, where are you going ?”

“To the library, I suppose...”

  


He had no choice, had he ? How could he explain to his cousin the reasons why going there was terrible news for him ?

As Jefferson opened the front door, he heard Lafayette’s voice again.

  


“Thomas wait !”

  


The Virginian turned around, eyes as cold as ever. His cousin shook his head, a sad smile on his face.

  


“Why can’t you be happy for me ? Why can’t _you_ be happy and smile for once ? You’re gonna meet someone new ! He might become your friend !”

  


Thomas blinked. Then, he began chuckling, a wide smirk on his lips. Lafayette watched him, at loss for words.

  


“Laf, please remember this: I don’t make friends.”

  


*****

  


“I was inspired by you to make this outfit.”

  


Mulligan’s eyes were shining with pride, the kind of spark that could only be lit in the eyes of people achieving something they are passionate about. Hercules loved his job. He loved making people look pretty, loved seeing the smile on their faces when he complimented them, loved creating original pieces of art depending on the customer. This was why when Lafayette’s manager had requested his services for his outfits, Mulligan had said yes. Yes, he wanted to work with this French rising star of fashion, this funny looking guy who could rock a dress just as much as he could rock a suit. He had seen him on TV at several occasions, and he had always loved seeing the model’s cheerfulness, his genuine smiles, his kind looks, his incredible and boisterous personality.

  


And there he was, standing in his design room, looking around at all the suits and outfits, bewildered. Mulligan smiled, but cleared his throat, catching his attention.

  


“ _Pardon_ , what were you saying ?”

“I made this outfit because I was inspired by you.”

  


Lafayette’s cheeks flushed, and he could swear Mulligan smiled even brighter when he noticed it.

  


“What do yo mean ? Inspired by… by me ?”

“More specifically by the way you shattered all the glasses at the bar...”

  


Lafayette’ smile dropped, and he looked away in embarrassment.

  


“Oh… Great ! Hum...”

  


He wanted to hide himself in a locker and die. His crush was probably making fun of him… Nice.

Mulligan let out a hearty laugh, and Lafayette tensed. Ah he was way too cute for him…

  


“Don’t worry ! I’m not making fun of you !”

“It kinda looks like you are though !”

“No !”

  


A wide smile on his face, Hercules grabbed Lafayette’s arms, dragging him next to a huge closet. The Frenchman melted under the touch, thankful for his make up to hide most of the blush away.

  


“Look it’s in there ! I named it “ _Briseur de Verre_ ”, as in “Glass Breaker”. It’s a tribute to your amazing performance.”

“There you are making fun of me, mon ami...”

  


Mulligan chuckled, and Lafayette just slammed the closet door open, feeling that if he were to look at him one more second he would just kiss him.

  


He was left breathless in front of the outfit: it was a grey silk ensemble, with a white cotton crop top and grey pants which were very wide around the ankles. The jacket was grey and white, falling just beneath his hips. It was covered with glitters, and every shade of grey and white just mixed together to create an actual piece of art, a painting made of soft and shiny diamonds. The only touch of color was around the neck: a very small silk scarf, ocean blue with golden edges.

  


“You like it ?”

  


Mulligan’s voice startled him. The tailor was waiting nervously next to him, a shy smile on his face. He was close, very close, and Lafayette had to take a step back. He hid his embarrassment with a laugh.

  


“It’s amazing ! _Magnifique_! I love it !”

“Really ? I’m glad to hear it… I know these colors aren’t what you usually wear, but when I saw you, that night, laying amongst all these silver shards, with your dark blue crop top and your golden pants, I new I had to represent it… So here it is !”

  


He excitedly jumped next to his creation.

  


“The gold and blue model...”, he said, pointing at the scarf, “amongst the ocean of broken glass...”, he concluded, gesturing at the whole silver suit.

  


Lafayette was speechless. It was beautiful, truly beautiful. No matter how much he loved him, there was no faking it: Hercules was a genius in terms of fashion creation.

The Frenchman tried nonetheless to keep his composure.

  


“Now I see why you wanted me to put on blue and gold make up...”

“Exactly, cause I want to see you try it on !”

  


Lafayette blinked.

  


“What ? Now ?”

“Yes ! Please !”

  


Mulligan’s eyes were shining with excitation, and he had unconsciously moved closer to Lafayette.

  


“Oh… Okay then !”

“Let me undress you !”

  


Lafayette almost choke.

  


“W-what ?”

  


The tailor looked confused for a second.

  


“To try the outfit ?”

“Oh… Oh yeah ! Sure… Okay !”

  


Lafayette was blushing madly. God he was so stupid… Of course Mulligan meant nothing by it.

He began undoing his shirt hesitantly, suddenly self conscious. He was a model damnit ! He was supposed to rock a flawless body, how could he be self conscious ? Plus, official tailors often helped their models dressing up, so it was only part of his job…

Still, he shivered when he felt Mulligan’ strong hands helping him sliding the shirt off his shoulders. He was so soft, and warm…

This was bad. Lafayette was blushing too much. He had to talk. He… Oh, why not trying to get to know more about his tailor ?

  


“So… hum… How come you don’t use your Heart ?”

“I told you, I just feel like you don’t need to share every single emotion with someone to have a good relationship with them...”

“Yes but… Isn’t it hard sometimes, with your job and all ?”

  


Hercules began placing the crop top on his model.

  


“No not really… I mean, sometimes it’s hard, because some persons don’t understand why I refuse to greet them properly… But in the end, I just stand by what I believe in, and it’s fine !”

  


Lafayette couldn’t talk for a second. Mulligan was helping him getting the pants on. He could feel his large, warm hands, sliding up his thighs, then higher, softly brushing his-

Holy shit

  


“Ah sorry, my hand slipped...”

“It-It’s fine ! It… it happens !”

  


And it was true, it meant nothing. It was hard to put on pants without slightly touching the butt. Still, Lafayette had turned crimson.

He tried nonetheless to continue the conversation.

  


“But… You really don’t want to know what other people feel like ? You don’t want to share this ?”

“Well… I’m a good emotion reader you know… I believe it is just as easy to understand what’s going through someone’s mind without having to _feel_ it...”

“And what about touching someone’s Heart ?”

“Well… It might sound weird, but I don’t really like people going through my head… Sometimes I do it of course, for common courtesy… But really, I’d rather not use the Heart at all…”

  


A question was burning on Lafayette’s tongue. He had to know.

In the mirror, he was slowly turning into a shining glass model.

  


“And how do you do when someone is in love with you ?”

  


_How am I supposed to know if you love me ? How am I supposed to make you understand that I love you ?_

  


People just used Hearts. It was how it was. You were born with a Heart, you were supposed to use it. How was he supposed to deal with love without using it ?

To his surprise, Mulligan burst out laughing.

  


“Okay I can tell you this, because we are close now...”

“Really ? It’s your mind-reading quirk that told you that ?”

  


_Oh yeah Laf well done… Be rude to your crush, go on !_

  


But Mulligan didn’t notice the sarcasm, or else he ignored it.

  


“Yes, of course ! So let me tell you: once, a few years back, there was this girl who confessed to me. I knew her by heart ! I had spent three years as his best friend, and we would spend our days together. She had to move to England, so she confessed the day before. Apparently, she had been in love with me the whole time ! And I didn’t see a thing ! That’s why I practiced, and now I’m pretty sure I’m amazing at reading people’s emotions, it won’t happen again ! Boys or girls, I’ll read right through them!”

  


Lafayette’s heart had dropped. So Mulligan was completely emotion blind too… That was… Great. Very promising.

How the hell was he supposed to show him his love ? How the hell was he supposed to know if he was even interested in him ?

  


Suddenly, Hercules took a step back, a big smile on his face.

  


“There !”

  


Lafayette looked at himself in the mirror, at loss for words. He was beautiful indeed, the suit fitted him perfectly, and the make up matched it very nicely.

He could see his Heart, on his ear. Through his turmoil, he still managed to wonder how it was still there despite the movements of clothes removal and all. Heart Earrings were supposed to come off easily. That’s why they were so rare: you could steal a Heart with a snap of finger with them.

Steal a Heart.

  


Lafayette’s eyes widened. Behind him, he could feel Hercules’ gaze on his body. But he couldn’t analyse it. He couldn’t understand it. He needed the Hearts.

There were only two solutions: either he managed to get Hercules to touch his Heart, or he would have to steal his.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is short, and there is no Lams today (sorry)  
> It was supposed to be divided in 4 parts, but I could only make 2 fit in, otherwise it would have been too long... Good side of this is that the next chapter should be up tomorrow, cause I know what has to happen next !
> 
> So enjoy Thomas' superiority complex and Lafayette's desperate attempt to deal with the emotion-blind Mulligan  
> Lams will be back next chapter, with probably some actual Jeffmads too ! 
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos, I appreciate a lot !  
> Don't hesitate to drop a few ideas or suppositions ! I love to see what my readers expect from me (and then do the exact opposite no lol just kidding I'm just curious and I need ideas plz T.T)
> 
> See you then !!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John confronts Alex and Thomas meets James

 

While Lafayette was struggling with his blind tailor, John was also facing a complicated situation.

And you see, when it’s early in the morning, you don’t really like to face complicated situations. Laurens was no exception: here he was, standing in the kitchen, lost in thoughts as his fried eggs were becoming more than fried.

Here was the simple yet terrible fact that his mind was playing over and over again since the previous night: Alexander had kissed him.

 

Not only had he kissed him, he hadn’t talked about it since then. And that John thought was absolutely nerve wrecking.

Okay maybe it was his fault too, since he had avoided any contact with his room mate since the kiss. First, he had gone to see James, and then he went to bed very early, skipping dinner. But it was perfectly understandable, because James needed a strong support network right now, and John was very stressed so very tired. Which meant that in the end, it wasn’t his fault.

 

John quickly placed the overcooked eggs on a plate, but stayed on his feet anyway, too preoccupied to care about his eating position. Hamilton was still in his room. He had probably gone to bed at six am so it was no surprise to Laurens. His room mate would soon be lacking caffeine anyway, so he’ll be up sooner or later…

 

John took a glance at his necklace. His Heart was shining bright, as usual. On his left wrist, the freckled boy could see the typical Heart Bracelet. People would just wear both the Necklace and Bracelet at anytime, since they were the “default” Heart positions.

 

Should Laurens put his Heart on his wrist ?

No, he should ask Alex first. They didn’t even talk about it yet, and Hamilton’s Heart was still nowhere to be found.

But how would it feel like ?

Last time John had exchanged his Heart for romantic reasons, he was drunk, and thought he had found true love. Last thing he knew he had woken up alone in a bed, with his own Heart on the bedside table and a letter from the guy saying he had taken his Heart back cause “it was a mistake”. John was too drunk to remember anything anyway…

 

But this time, he was sober, and actually in love. And Hamilton’s emotions seemed to indicate he wasn’t indifferent to John either. The freckled boy licked his lips and reached for his Heart, unlocking it almost immediately with the digital recognition.

He just wanted to try… It wasn’t as if it was going to change anything anyway, the only difference would be the Heart’s location really…

 

But still, John could imagine himself walking up the streets on his own in a tank top, making sure everyone could see he was in a relationship. No more lewd comments, no more flirty drunkards… Everyone would know he belonged to someone already… Hell ! If he were to buy a fake ring they could believe he was married !

 

John gulped, gently approaching his wrist with the stone. As soon as the contact was made, the bracelet’s technology literally captured the Heart, ensuring a safe position thanks to a complex network of magnetic sensors.

Laurens’ eyes grew wide. That was it, he was in a relationship. Socially speaking at least… After all almost no one lied about the Heart positions. It wasn’t really well seen, nor was it really useful.

 

John felt butterflies in his stomach at this view. Alex loved him, and soon he was going to be able to keep his Heart on his wrist without any guilt or shame. He was going to become his boyfriend…

But for now, nothing was official, nothing was done: no matter how hard, he had to put the Heart back on his neck.

 

And he actually was about to do it, when a certain Caribbean loudmouth entered the kitchen.

 

“Morning John…”

 

Laurens almost yelped. Almost.

But instead, he snatched his hand away from his wrist, leaving the Heart on it, and turned around with a very, very wide grin.

 

“Heyyy Alex !”

 

His voice was too high. Oh well..

Hamilton raised a brow and sat, pouring himself a large cup of coffee.

 

“C… Can I make you some eggs ?”

“Sure.”

 

Great, now he didn’t have to face him. It was cowardly but at least Alexander wouldn’t see him blush, nor would he spot the Heart.

John turned around and started the cooking, royally ignoring his own now cold eggs next to him. He wasn’t hungry anymore anyway, his stomach was twisted with anxiety.

 

“So I talked to Wash yesterday, and he said that now that someone had found the Heart there was not much we could do apart from waiting and hoping… The case will stay open though, and he promised the search will continue. They already called for witnesses but you know it isn’t a very crowded street on Sunday mornings...”

“Yeah, that’s a shame…”

 

The silence stretched a bit, so John tried to find a way to fill it in. He didn’t want to engage the kiss conversation. Not so early on a Monday morning... Okay it was ten, but John and Alex’s classes only started at one pm.

 

“I’m worried about James, apparently his Heart Stealer is twisted…”

“Yeah, I heard it from Laf… Poor guy, he was already so nervous about relationships and dealing with emotions...”

“True, plus Burr is devastated. I saw him yesterday when I went to see them. He feels guilty cause he’s the one who insisted that James takes his Heart to the bar...”

 

Hamilton looked up from his third coffee cup.

 

“Is James blaming him ?”

“No, not yet at least. Apparently he’s too shocked to think clearly and Aaron spent the day soothing him. But he fears he’ll hold it against him later...”

“Come on, Madison never hurt a fly…”

“Losing a Heart is an emotionally exhausting experience you know…”

“Well… I guess...”

 

There was something in this last response that John found darker, more painful. He was now battling with his desire to talk and understand Alex’ struggle and his fear to engage on the conversation.

 

But soon, it was too late: the eggs were ready. Indeed, they were perfectly white and shiny, without being liquid anymore. Some parts were even tainted with a thin layer of gold, which meant that the cooking time was just-

Stop.

He was wasting time. He had to go and serve Alex. He had to face him. Despite his fear. Despite the glowing Heart on his wrist.

 

 

John took a deep breath and approached Hamilton, an almost too bright smile on his face. His room mate looked up, his messy hair falling before his burning eyes.

Oh great. Now John was blushing.

 

“H-Here !”

“Thanks.”

 

Alexander took the plate, looking at it hungrily. And what had to happen happened: his gaze cast upon the bracelet, the Heart on it.

John snatched his hand away, but Hamilton’s eyes had narrowed.

 

“John…”

“It’s okay ! I was going to take it off anyway, just wanted to try hum… to see how it felt… hehe…”

 

To prove his honesty, Laurens took of the Heart and placed it on the table, his eyes clouded by stress and sadness. Alexander scanned his reddened face warily, then sighed.

 

“Please John, I don’t want you to take it personally, but I’d rather have our relationship remain secret...”

“What ?”

 

The word had escaped his mouth. That was… unexpected. On one side Alex had talked about their “relationship”, which filled John’s heart with glee, while on the other he kinda feared the “secret” part.

Hamilton looked away, and fiddled nervously.

 

“I… I’d prefer it if you could keep it on your neck, or at least on your belt… That way people would stop hitting on you that often and you can always tell your relatives you got bored and wanted to try something else...”

“But why ?”

 

Alexander’s eyes grew wider with panic.

 

“Because… Because I don’t want to have to explain why _I_ can’t wear mine...”

 

There was again this strange, pained light in his gaze, as if suddenly all the joy flew away from it.

John hated to see him this way. He took a deep breath and went to Alexander’ side. The freckled boy took his hand, and Hamilton seemed surprised. He looked up with those big, frightened eyes. As if John was his life string just as much as if he was his doom.

 

_He is worried about what I’m about to ask…_

 

There was this question, this terrible question that Laurens could not avoid, and Alex knew it.

 

“Alex…”

 

The poor man froze.

 

“Alex… where is your Heart ?”

 

For a few seconds, they just looked at each other in silence, staring into each other’ soul. Then Alexander looked down, clenching John’s hand tighter.

His voice was as thin as a whisper, broken.

 

“He broke it...”

 

Laurens’ eyes widened.

 

“Broke it ? Who ?”

 

Alex looked away, his lips stretched into a thin line.

 

“My father… He hated me… He took it, and he threw it against the wall…”

 

His voice cracked and he added:

 

“I was ten…”

 

John could not believe his own ears. Alex’s Heart was… _broken_? As in, someone had actually willingly decided to break it ? It was just as rare and just as terrible as losing your Heart. Even the angriest ex wouldn’t dare to break a Heart… They were so fragile in someone else’s hand, and they were so important for a person’s emotional and social balance…

 

“Alex… Alex I’m so sorry I didn’t know...”

 

Laurens felt terrible for accusing him of losing his Heart. Now he understood why Hamilton was angry at James for losing his, why he rolled his eyes when Burr talked about not using his own, why he avoided every question about this…

The freckled man tried to touch Alex’ shoulder. He was shaking…

No it was more than that: he was crying.

 

“I… I remember his emotions when he took it… my Heart… He was drunk… He… He was angry… I could barely breathe because of the hate, the disgust he felt… He despised me… And then… the wall… He threw it and… everything collapsed… I felt numb, emotionless...”

 

John hold him closer, shushing him softly. He had never seen Alex this way…

 

“My emotions came back, but I can’t feel the others’ ones… So I hid it… I didn’t want people to know…to take advantage on me… Because I cannot feel whether they are genuine or not anymore… I never trusted anyone as much as I trust you ever since… I… I am afraid… But I love you…”

“I love you too Alex… And even if you can’t feel it as much as you could with your Heart, you have to believe me...”

 

Alexander smiled feebly, and looked up. Softly, John pressed his lips against his lover’s, and they just silently enjoyed each other’ sweet presence. Laurens broke the kiss and rested his forehead against Hamilton’s. He could not believe how smooth he was despite his stress and his shock. Seriously, Hamilton was an inch away from him. No not even an inch they were _touching_. John’s mind began to race, as realisation struck him.

He was no big spoon what the hell was he doing ?

 

But seeing Hamilton looking so small and fragile, he could not help but feel as if he needed to protect him. He knew the man had been through a lot but… Being Heartbroken was something… of a much higher level. You were unable to feel the others’ emotions, you were like an outcast socially speaking. Your only hope was to get someone to touch the broken parts to repair it. But this person had to truly, truly be in love you…

John’s heart swelled upon realising he could be the one to repair his Heart. He loved him, he could save him !

 

“Alex ! Your Heart ! I love you I could repair it !”

 

Hamilton’s eyes widened, and fear lit them again. John raised a brow.

 

“What ?”

“You… No… I don’t want you to”

 

Laurens took a step back. He didn’t understand. Alexander looked guilty, his gaze had darkened.

 

“Why ? You don’t think I love you enough ?”

 

Hamilton jumped to his feet.

 

“What ? No ! I know you love me ! I mean… I can’t _feel_ it but I can see it ! I would trust you with my life John !”

“Then why can’t you trust me with your Heart ? So what, the only risk there is is that it doesn’t work… Are you afraid it won’t work ?”

“No !”

 

The Caribbean man smiled sheepishly and grabbed his lover’s hand, rubbing them gently. Laurens looked away, which seemed to affect Alex.

 

“Look at me John please… I know you love me… I really do…”

“Then what is the problem ?”

 

Hamilton bit his lips and looked down.

 

“I’m scared.”

 

Laurens’ eyes softened.

 

“I’m scared to _feel_ again… To have all those sometimes unwanted foreign emotions assault me… I was only ten when my Heart was broken, I never _practiced_ with it… I barely remember how it feels like. And I see people like Laf having their Hearts touched by random strangers, and I see Laf’s eyes shining with shock, sometimes fear when the emotions are too strong and I get scared… Because even if it lasts only a few seconds, I see him being taken aback by it, while he has always been surrounded by these feelings, while I have never been…”

 

John grabbed his neck and kissed him softly, brushing away his tears. He felt terrible for making Alex feels so bad…

 

“I’m sorry Alex… I never thought about this...”

“It’s fine… I trust you… My mother placed them in a box for me to keep until I find the love of my life… And… And even if I’m scared… I believe it’s you Laurens… I love you.”

“I love you too Alex...”

 

They kissed, then Hamilton’s eyes lit up with realisation, as if he had forgotten something and just remembered it. He turned around under Laurens’ confused gaze, and grabbed the Heart on the table.

He looked up, a soft smile on his face.

 

Laurens immediately felt the rush of love emanating from Alexander, and tears welled up in his eyes. Hamilton hugged him tightly, wrapping him with his warm scent. Laurens inhaled it, drowning in between this soft reality and the flow of emotions he felt. He loved him, he loved him so much it almost hurt.

But John didn’t ask his lover to let go of the Heart: it was the kind of pain that you could enjoy and be willing to endure forever. The burning heat of passion and the weird twist in your guts as butterflies flew through your stomach. He craved it…

 

But underneath the sheer feeling of love remained an undeniable fear, mixed with guilt and pain.

John’s eyebrows furrowed. He felt concern creeping up his chest.

 

“Why are you still so scared Alex ?”

 

Hamilton hugged him even tighter.

 

“Alex ?”

 

But it was at this moment, just before John tried to push Alexander away to scan his face, that the Caribbean man’s phone rang.

He placed the Heart on the table and quickly took the mobile out of his pocket, walking away from John towards the window.

 

“Laf ? Hey what’s up ? … Why isn’t Aaron with him ? … Oh I see… Your cousin ? Does he know James ? … Oh okay… But why aren’t you with him ? … Oh… Oh okay ! No problem we don’t start before one this afternoon anyway. I’ll finally get to meet that cousin of yours ! … Okay see you later ! Bye !”

 

He hung up, turning back to face his worried lover. All the fear and pain had left his face. He was back to acting out the role of “the arrogant and self-confident Alexander Hamilton”.

 

“Alex...”

“We gotta go John. James is alone at the library with Laf’s cousin and he fears James might be too shy and shocked to actually try to enjoy the company and bound with him. Plus apparently the cousin is a jerk...”

 

John’s eyes scanned his lover’s face, but Hamilton quickly broke eye contact, a fake smile on his lips. He walked towards the front door.

Laurens’ fists clenched. Something was wrong, Alex wasn’t telling him the whole truth.

 

“Alex…”

“Come on John ! I’m eager to meet this Thomas Jefferson !”

 

The freckled man sighed. He had to let go for now, but this conversation was not over.

John grabbed his Heart, putting it on his belt, and followed his lover outside.

 

*****

 

So… He was in a library… Nice.

 

First thing he noticed was how small it was compared to his parents’.

Then he noticed how boring it seemed…

Seriously, everyone was _reading_. And it was quiet, way too quiet.

 

Thomas crossed his arms. Lafayette was a real asshole to make him have to go in such a place for a complete stranger. Plus, the said stranger had to be super boring to work in here.

He sighed and walked up to the information counter. An old lady with ugly green glasses was reading there.

 

_Can’t even do her job properly…_

 

As if staying all day in a box to help people finding books was really a job… People knew how to read, duh !

 

“Ma’am, I’m looking for someone.”

 

She looked up, and her eyes widened in shock in front of Jefferson’s outfit.

He frowned, outraged. How could she be disgusted by his amazing fashion sense ? Seriously, she was wearing green. A _freaking green_ jacket, and _green_ glasses.

 

“Oh um… sure. Who are you looking for ?”

“James Madison. He works here as a part-timer.”

 

She nodded, still obviously glaring at his magenta clothes, and looked up in her files. Her _written_ files. Who… Who in hell was still keeping records _on paper_?

 

Suddenly, she seemed pleased with herself, as any old lady _working_ in a library office would be after finally being useful.

 

“Mister Madison is currently working on aisle four. He’s supposed to have his lunch break in roughly five minutes. You tell him to go now if you want to talk to him.”

 

Thomas nodded, keeping his chin very high in the air to show his obvious superiority. After a quick “Thanks...”, he left to find the said Mister Madison.

Aisle four wasn’t far away, but Jefferson was determined to go there while showing everyone there what kind of amazing man he was.

 

So here he was, his chest up, his muscles tensed, walking down the library next to the obviously uninterested customers, his head up and proud.

He took a turn in aisle four and-HOLY SHIT

 

There he was. The victim. The damned little chubby man.

If Thomas were a cat, he would have hissed, then run away quickly, visibly pissed.

But Thomas wasn’t a cat; he had to stay still and unperturbed. Because he was Thomas Jefferson, best man alive. And also because he had to put distance between this being he was supposed to sympathise with. This being he could not afford to become friend with. Because he stole his Heart. And was going to toy with it.

 

James noticed him and turned around a bit. He was holding a few books in his hands, and was wearing an oversized grey turtleneck sweater. A turtleneck, despite the heat…

He was going to die, to overheat or something ?

The chubby man looked at him with sad, empty eyes. He looked as if he hadn’t slept in days, or as if he was going to cry, maybe both…

 

Thomas crossed his arms, trying to look as cold as possible. He didn’t care. He couldn’t care. He was pitiful, pathetic… Truly pathetic…

 

The chubby man smiled weakly, and it lifted his cheekbones, making his eyes shine.

It was cu-pathetic. It was pathetic. How could you smile that way ? Humph… ridiculous…

 

“You are Thomas aren’t you ? Lafayette called me to tell me you were going to pass by… I’m in break, so maybe we can have a seat ? There is an empty table over there…”

 

He seemed so natural, at ease, despite the broken shimmer in his eyes. How could he talk so effortlessly with someone as attractive as Thomas ? How could he be so natural when Thomas struggled to say anything ?

No. No. Jefferson was fine. He could talk. It was just… hum… well… his turtleneck. Yes it was the turtleneck that disturbed him. It was too warm inside for a turtleneck.

 

“You’re hot.”

 

Ah.

Ah ah ah.

 

_Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit_

 

That was smooth. That was amazing. Really.

The little man’s eyes widened and he looked away.

Thomas tried to remain as calm as possible. He was Thomas Jefferson after all.

 

He placed a smirk on his lips.

 

“I mean, you’re gonna be hot in such a sweater.”

“Oh hum… Yes well… I get sick easily so… I like it when it’s warm… It… It’s comfy…”

 

Great so first Thomas was right, the pathetic being was often ill, and secondly he was flustered.

It was pathetic. Thomas knew it. He just had to keep it in mind.

 

The small man shifted on his feet. They were still standing in the alley, Thomas aloofly laid against the shelf, and James a few feet away from him.

 

“Should we sit ?”

“Oh… Yeah… Sure… Follow me...”

 

Gone the naturally speaking little library man…

 

They went to a small table away from the main reading area, leaving them alone to talk a little. James sat down, carefully placing the three books in front of him. Thomas just slopped down on the chair in front of him, absolutely not interested.

 

“I’ll just need you to talk softly...”

 

He said that like a whisper, but it looked effortless. As if he always talked with such a cu-small voice…

Thomas humphed. He still lowered his voice though.

 

“Whatever… Everyone is so silent here it’s depressing…”

“It’s calm… I like it…”

“But what are they even doing ?”

 

The small man looked away, a small, shy smile forming on his plump lips.

 

“Um… reading ?”

 

Thomas blinked, staring at the chubby boy in front of him.

Was he taking him for a fool ? How dared he ?

Thomas wanted to tell him off… and yet he couldn’t. He couldn’t even speak, because he had to keep himself from smiling dumbly in front of the small smile on the other’s lips.

 

They kept silent for a second, then James chuckled nervously.

 

“So hum… what do you want to talk about ?”

“Well… I’m supposed to keep you company but since I don’t know you and my dumb cousin decided to go get laid with his little tailor I suppose you could tell me what you like…”

 

Thomas was blunt, cause he didn’t care. More than that, he could not afford to care.

James seemed a little taken aback, and nervously fiddled with a strand of his short curly hair.

 

“Well… I like reading…”

“I figured… Are these book for you ?”

 

He pointed at the three book placed just in front of Madison, and the chubby man’s eyes widened and he hid them under his chest.

 

“Oh hum… Yeah I was gonna borrow them…”

“Why can’t I see ?”

“Do you like to read ?”

“Absolutely not but now that you’re hiding them I wanna see.”

 

He smirked devilishly, making James hold tighter on the books.

 

“No… I don’t think it’s necessary.”

“Show.”

“Hum well...”

“Show.”

“Thomas...”

 

But Thomas wasn’t used to taking “no” for an answer. He got up, and in one long footstep he was next to James, grabbing the books and holding them up in front of his eyes.

 

“No ! Wait ! Give back !”

 

But James was too small, and he couldn’t even yell, so he just stood, tiptoeing helplessly next to Thomas. Thomas who was, by the way, regretting his decision, because the tiny man was now stroking against his chest in a desperate attempt to take his books back.

 

But Jefferson had to stay strong. He was Thomas Jefferson, after all.

 

“What are these ? Oh hum… _Mad as a Lover_? By albxnx… Weird name… What’s that ? Sounds cheesy...”

“It’s-It’s nothing !”

“ _What happened in France ?_ By nackledamia… Sounds fun… I like France… I mean… It’s _cheesy_ too...”

 

He was very proud of his pun, and he looked down to see if the smaller man laughed too.

 

It was a mistake.

 

James looked absolutely panicked, his black eyes shining with embarrassment. Thomas had to look away at the last book not to blush.

 

“ _Consortium_ … By Anonfeather… It’s latin right ? Why would you read latin books ?”

 

He wanted to see what could be found in a latin story, so he opened it at a random page and read a few lines and…

 

“Ho-ly-shit. Didn’t think you would read that kind of things…”

 

He grinned, and James buried his face in his hands.

The tall bastard laughed and placed the books back on the table, then he went back to his own chair. Madison sat down too, blushing madly.

 

“Please don’t tell Aaron… I’ll never hear the end of it…”

“I’ll see...”

 

He smirked, and James sighed, defeated. It’s not as if Jefferson was going to tell him he didn’t know Aaron anyway…

 

They sat in silence for a few seconds. Jefferson looked at him closely. He could not feel empathy for him, he simply couldn’t. But he had to say, he really looked devastated. Completely broken even…

Jefferson knew he was here for a reason, even if he really didn’t want to feel even worse. Not that he was feeling bad for his victim of course… Just… He had to do his job.

 

“So… You okay ?”

 

The small man looked up, a bit confused. His eyes darkened when he realised what Thomas was talking about.

 

“Well… It’s okay I guess… It’s not as if I was sharing my Heart with lots of people anyway… ”

 

He chuckled nervously, and Jefferson scanned his face.

 

“You don’t look that okay though…”

“Well…”

 

He looked away.

 

“To be honest, earlier this morning, Aaron had left for his classes and well… suddenly I… I felt terrible… As if someone was just hoping I was dead…”

 

Thomas froze. He didn’t wanna hear about it. It was bad… It was really bad…

 

“I think the… the one who stole my Heart was really angry… He pressed my Heart really hard… I could feel it, as if I was going to burst… I could barely breathe… I really… I really though he was gonna break it…”

 

Jefferson’s throat was dry. The pitiful human in front of him seemed on the verge of tears. He could not comfort him. He could not have mercy on him.

Even if he desperately wanted to…

 

“Well shit I’m sorry man…”

“It’s fine… It’s just… It felt weird cause… like… It was as if the anger was directed towards me… It sounds stupid I know but… I felt a lot of anger and… despair too… As if they were conflicted you see ?”

 

Yes he could see clearly. Because in front of him stood the cutest man alive, whose Heart was lost to some twisted stealer.

And him ? He was the damn fool who stole it…

 

“I mean… Maybe you just feel like this cause _you_ are angry at yourself ?”

 

It was bullshit, but the small man in front of him nodded softly.

 

“Maybe...”

 

He couldn’t give the Heart back. He couldn’t give it back for two very sensible reasons: first, it was a golden opportunity to have fun, and second, if James knew he was the one who stole it, he’ll hate him. Even if Thomas was to fake finding it again, he couldn’t ever touch it again, cause James would feel his guilt and understand that he was the stealer in the first place.

He was in deep shiiiiii-

 

“Yo James !”

 

Thomas turned around. Behind him stood two men which he had never seen before. A freckled one wearing a tank top and a ponytail went up to greet James and sit next to him. The other was a long haired Caribbean man, with a beard, enormous eyebags and… _Oh sweet Virginia !_

 

A

Freaking

_Green_

Sweater

 

… uuuuuuggghhhh

 

“Hey ! The name’s Alexander Hamilton. You’re Laf’s cousin right ?”

“Yup… Thomas Jefferson…”

“Nice to meet you. Here is my room mate, John Laurens.”

 

The freckled boy looked up and waved with a polite smile. They didn’t share their Hearts, because the situation wasn’t really professional, so it wasn’t required. Plus, they barely knew each other, and James couldn’t really participate, so it would have been rude towards him…

Jefferson said nothing as Hamilton sat next to him. He was pissed, now that he wasn’t alone with his cru-victim anymore. It was good that they didn’t share their Hearts after all…

 

James seemed more at ease with John around, so Thomas felt jealous. He wanted to break into their conversation, and ask more about him. He wanted to know him better, to know how to manipulate him, to break him… To know how to make him smile…

Nononono

 

He simply could no fall in-

 

“So… Purple right ?”

Jefferson turned around, meeting Alexander’s eyes. The other man was apparently getting bored of the conversation between his friend and James.

 

“What ?”

“You like purple ?”

“Well yeah...”

“Ahaha I hate this color...”

 

Thomas tensed.

 

“Well good thing I didn’t need your opinion, Mister _I-wear-green_.”

“Hey ! Green is way cooler than purple !”

“Yeaaah sure… I bet you write on actual paper too right ?”

 

The other man blinked.

 

“How did you know ?”

“Oh for fuck’ sake...”

“Hey !”

 

Hamilton jumped on his feet, earning a scolding glance from Laurens. James seemed completely panicked.

 

“Please Hamilton… Not in the library I risk my job...”

“But you heard this asshole ? Insulting the holy paper ! Mother of all inventions !”

“Sorry… Didn’t know you were friend with paper… Blank one I hope ? Just like your brain ?”

“How absolutely dare you ?”

“Please guys… I’m gonna get in troubles...”

 

Jefferson stopped to take a quick look at the shy and nervous face of the chubby man. He felt his heart twitching. He wanted to fight back, but the desire to make fear disappear from his soft face was too strong.

 

“Okay I’m gonna let you go just this once cause we’re in James’ library...”

“Aaaaw you’re protecting him, so cute ~~”

 

That was the last straw.

No… No he could not protect him… He was going to use him… Not protecting…

He took a quick glance at the small, chubby, teary eyed man… He remembered him crying… He remembered the way his cheekbones lit his soft dark gaze…

 

No.

He had to leave.

 

“I gotta go...”

“What but you’ve just arrived...”

 

Upon hearing James’ soft voice, Thomas almost changed his mind. Almost.

 

“Careful James… You got yourself a purple disaster, what a choice !”

 

Thomas left, not even sparing a glance at Madison.

He had to do something about that whole Heart situation…

 

Damnit… Such a perfect occasion…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaah sorry this chapter took longer than expected ! Plus I had a verrry bad Internet connection and thus couldn't post yesterday :(
> 
> Anyway, things are evolving for our little couples ;))  
> I have a one shot to write before writing chapter 5, but I hope I'll be able to post both of them within two days... Hehe you'll soon learn that I am a master procrastinator, and you are all lucky I got a friend on my back irl to harass me with texts to make me write (looking at you, Notsodamned)
> 
> Anyway the books that James was reading were actual Jeffmads fanfictions if you wanna check it out XDDD  
> "Mad as a Lover" by me (lol)  
> "What happened in France ?" by nackledamia (omg I love her works so much)  
> "Consortium" by Anonfeather (if you want amazing quality smut they got looots of super stories)
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and comments ! See you all very soon !!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron thinks about his role in James' terrible fate, while Lafayette calls for an "emergency meeting".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS: abuse/violence/crude language

Aaron was on his way back from college, his pods plugged in his ears but no music on. He didn’t really know what to listen to, because on Mondays he would usually meet up with James after his last class, and they would walk home together. James didn’t have any classes on Mondays, he would just work at the library, then walk home with Burr.

But today Aaron had had to attend an important meeting, so he had finished later than usual. Thus, he was walking home alone, no music in his ears.

He didn’t really like music anyway, he didn’t need it. James and him would always walk home together from college. But something had been broken. Something had been broken that made Burr walk home alone this night. The streets were already dark, wrapping him like a paper of gloomy thoughts. As if the meeting was just a symbol of this change, this breaking point: something changed a few days ago, something broke, and now Aaron was walking home alone in the night, with no music but his guilt ringing in his ears.

 

Guilt. Yes, he felt guilty. Because right now he was wearing his Heart, as he had to take it for the meeting. He was wearing his Heart while James couldn’t. And it was his fault.

In this society, asexual or not, aromantic or not, there were occasions in which you had to bring your Heart. And unlike Hercules, Aaron knew when to shut up and do as he was told. Because it was important for his future jobs, for his grades, for his social position.

 

So despite his reluctance, Burr was wearing his Heart, ensuring his social security, while James couldn’t wear his. Madison was always very concerned about the way people saw him, for he was a small man of fragile constitution. He had had trouble finding a part time job because he looked too shy, too childish for any kind of responsibility. So James knew he had to stay still, to do what he was asked to do. He had to prove his worth, and for that he needed all the tools.

And since last Saturday, he lacked one. He had lost his Heart, the most important human social factor. Without it he couldn’t greet other people properly, couldn’t show his respect to his superiors, couldn’t read through anyone… He was defenceless, easily manipulable and unable to engage in romantic relationships. And it was all Aaron’s fault.

 

He shouldn’t have pressured him to go to the bar. James told him he didn’t feel like it. Actually, he hadn’t even needed to say it for Burr to understand it: they were like brothers, they knew each other. Aaron had seen the anxiety in his eyes, had seen the way the bar’s atmosphere was slowly suffocating his shy and quiet best friend. He should have known James wasn’t ready, that he wasn’t in his best mental state.

Now Madison was Heartless, and his Heart was into the hands of a psychopath. And it was all Aaron’s fault.

 

How could he have done this ? He was the first one to say that romantic relationships weren’t all that great. But James seemed so alone, so desperate since his breakup that Burr had to do something. He knew him, he knew his “lil bro”, he wanted to see him as happy as he had been when he was with Dolley. Madison wasn’t exactly “in love” with her, but he liked her a lot, and for a long time he really thought he was straight and in love with her. But she broke him, and gloomy James was back, “grumpy head” was back. So Aaron wanted to see him smile again. And he failed, he broke him too. He was no better than Dolley.

 

Aaron sighed. It was late by now, around seven thirty. James was probably preparing dinner right now. He had to hurry up, he knew it, and yet the simple thought of seeing Madison after a whole day away made him terribly nervous.

In one day, everything could change, they learnt it the hard way on Saturday evening. James and him had barely talked about what had happened, because Burr had convinced him to go to sleep, to rest until his mind got clearer. Thinking about it, it was a bad move: they could have looked for the Heart earlier, and found it before the stealer. Terrible, terrible move.

And overall, they actually never talked about it. Even on Sunday, when they went to look for the Heart, they didn’t even try to talk about the bar. When Aaron had tried to get Madison out of his room, he just jumped out of it, panicked, completely out of his normal, calm self. He refused to talk, only repeating that they had to go look for the Heart, that he was sure no one had taken it yet.

In the evening, all James could talk about was his Heart, and the feeling of twisted delight of the stealer. John spent the evening with them, helping Aaron soothing James until the poor guy fell asleep, exhausted.

Then this morning, Aaron left for college before James had woken up, meaning that they never truly “talked” about it with James being fully conscious. He feared Madison’s reaction, now that he had had a whole day alone with his thoughts. He feared that his best friend would see him as the one responsible for the loss of the Heart. It was true in some ways: Aaron insisted in going to the bar, Aaron put him to sleep instead of looking for the artefact.

 

It was his fault, and yet he feared this night’s dinner, in which James was probably going to get mad at him. Of course he would get mad at him. He had every rights to be.

 

Burr was roughly two streets away from their home when his phone began to ring. He got a bit startled, for he was deep in thoughts, but managed to answer pretty quickly. A heavily French accented voice immediately boomed from the device.

 

“Aaron, _c’est moi_ ! Hey could James and you join me and the guys for lunch break tomorrow ? We’ll meet up at the café at twelve thirty.”

 

Burr frowned.

 

“Okay okay, no problem I’ll ask James… But why ?”

“Do not worry about this ! It’s only an emergency meeting. See you tomorrow _mon ami_!”

“Only an emer- Wait !”

 

Too late, the overhyped fashion model had hung up. Aaron sighed and placed the phone back in his pocket. He was too nervous and tired to call him again for further explanation… It probably wasn’t an _emergency_ meeting anyway… It was just Lafayette’s way to always exaggerate everything.

 

Burr suddenly realized he was standing just outside of his building. He took a deep breath. Time to go…

He climbed up the stairs, and a doorknob later he was in the room. And James was sat on the couch right in front of him, a book in his hands. The little man looked up and smiled softly, seeming exhausted.

 

Aaron closed the door and put away his bag and coat, smiling nervously. Come on, it was just James…

 

“Hey…” he started.

“Hey Aaron, how was your day ?”

 

Soft smile and kind voice. It was just James. Like, literally: it was as if nothing had happened. Except maybe for the eyebags on the little one’s face. Burr decided it would be easier to engage on a light subject, to make sure everything was alright.

“Say grumpy head, you look exhausted… What happened?”

 

James let out an amused sigh and placed the book next to him. Aaron smiled and sat on an armchair. Good, James seemed in a correct disposition to talk.

 

“John and Alex came to keep me company at the library...”

“Ouch, I see… I had told Laf to send you his cousin though, not the infernal chatterbox and his soon-to-be-boyfriend...”

 

Madison chuckled slightly, but couldn’t hide a light blush. Aaron immediately noticed and raised a playful brow.

 

“What was that ?”

“What was what ?”

“You blushed...”

 

James turned crimson.

 

“O-oh did I? My bad…”

 

Aaron stared at him for a very long time. Very, very long time.

James had turned into a blushing mess, eyes screwed on the ground. It left only two options for Burr: confront him, or avoid the matter to speak about what bothered him truly, aka the Heart situation.

 

It’s not that Burr wasn’t interested in knowing every little gossip about his chubby room mate. In fact, he _adored_ sharing secrets with him, and god have you ever witnessed the little Virginian panicking and getting all flustered under teases?

Though he knew better than to act cocky right now, and the anguish that laid on his heart simply wouldn’t go away.

So he kept every remark close to his chest, mentally preparing his future argumentation in the “Discover why Jemmy was blushing” mission.

 

Aaron gulped softly and looked down. _Come on Aaron, it’s James…_

 

“Hey I just wanted to say-”

“Aaron.”

 

He froze at the calm yet strict tone, glancing up nervously only to witness a gentle looking James holding his hand up. The Virginian had a tender smile on his lips, and if his deep black eyes weren’t dimmed with exhaustion and sorrow, Aaron could have smiled and forgotten all about it. But right now he couldn’t let it go…

 

“No wait James let me continue… L-listen I… I’m so sorry I made you go through this I… I shouldn’t have pressured you to go I… I know you’re mad but… I’ll do my best okay? I’ll be the best of friends from now on… I swear I’ll never let you go I… I’m gonna...”

 

But what could he say, really?

 

_I’m gonna find your Heart._

 

Ah! As if it was that easy Aaron…

 

He was lost in his own storm of thoughts and despair when James got up. Two steady arms pulled the devastated man into a deep embrace, as silent as it was powerful.

Aaron froze and dared not to move, breath hitching with stress and relief.

 

“I said it was okay Aaron… We’ll find it… I’m probably overreacting, the one who found it cannot be that bad...”

 

He pulled away, hands remaining on his shoulders, and the same tired smile drew itself on his lips.

 

Sometimes, Aaron didn’t understand James. They were brothers, soulmates surely, obviously best friends. From the very first moment, they had known they were of the same kind, silent guys with hidden wits and shy smiles. It’s what drew Aaron to James, from the very moment he walked into their college room and saw the little black man hiding in an oversized turtle neck sweater. He knew he’d be safe with this little man, he knew he could understand him, be understood by him.

And yet there were moments, rare moments where James seemed deeply different. Calmer, wiser, stronger. So much better than Aaron, so much better than anyone else. And right now was one of those moments that left Burr speechless and grateful, as if he was talking to forgiveness itself.

 

How? How could he hide behind such a tender smile?

 

Aaron grinned back weakly, unable to hold his gaze any longer. As the silence uselessly stretched, James got up, walking calmly towards the kitchen.

Burr followed shortly, trying to find a conversation starter. His eyes lit up and he tried to sound as cheerful as he could manage.

 

“Hey by the way um… Lafayette is holding one of his “crisis reunions” tomorrow… We are invited…”

 

James turned around softly, eyes lit up with a timid yet eager light.

 

“Will Thomas be there?”

 

Burr blinked and frowned.

 

“Who? His cousin? He never brought him so I don’t see why he would be there...”

 

The light quickly died out in James’ eyes, and Aaron bit his tongue hardly. It was clearer than a baby’s skin now, his Jemmy was crushing on the Frenchman’s cousin.

Burr had guessed it straight away of course, he knew James by heart, duh.

Yet he couldn’t allow himself to engage the conversation on such a subject for two very sensible reasons, as Aaron’s thinking process could not be anything else than rational: first, despite his room mate’s inhuman kindness, he still considered himself on thin ice regarding the Heart situation, not to say that he remained stuck in sheer guilt. And of course, the second one was that teasing the shy and love-fearing James about getting into a relationship with someone whilst having lost his main social, romantic and flirting tool would simply be rude and insensitive.

Furthermore, Aaron had seen the cousin in question. He was the “hot” type. Or, to be more precise, the “hot jerky f*ckboy” type. Aaron had seen right through him. Where James’ greatest difference with Burr was innocence and sheer kindness of heart, Burr’s greatest dissimilarity with James was his ability to observe and analyse people’s intentions. Madison was too much of a cinnamon roll for that kind of negative view on others…

So in conclusion, Aaron wasn’t going to point out the obvious crush his best friend was experiencing, just like he wasn’t truly sure he wanted James to get close to that man. He couldn’t grasp why, but he didn’t feel that Thomas Jefferson.

 

James faked detachment and shrugged, turning away to continue the preparation of his meal. Needless to add that James was as good a liar as Alexander was a patient man.

 

“Well never mind, it’ll be fun I guess… Laf is never holding emergency meetings for nothing...”

 

Aaron stared at him.

 

“He literally made us meet up in the middle of finals week to tell us about the dog they killed in that French movie no one had even ever heard of...”

 

James giggled softly and shook his head, stirring the pastas.

 

**

 

The next day came by pretty fast as, in a sense, the events of Saturday evening were slowly dying out in everyone’s mind. Saying the loss of his Heart wasn’t traumatic for James would be a blatant lie, and his smiles couldn’t hide the sleepless night that dug his eyes and cheeks. Pain, fear, sorrow and stress were the most terrible make-up foundations a person could paint their face with, and if Madison wasn’t looking like a starving man it was only thanks to his natural soft curves.

 

Though the fact that he was not engaging on the subject, or trying to reach out for further help, helped first with the media’s loss of interest. Losing your Heart was uncommon, but it was seen as such an absurdity and horror that seeing an actual “specimen” not acting completely broken in front of cameras led people to get disinterested, seeing that their “romantic martyr” wasn’t all that tragic. James’ self-protective cocoon, which wasn’t much unlike his natural persona to be honest, had also led his friends not to ask too many questions, fearing they would trigger any kind of trauma or simply seem annoying by pitying him in his “healing process”. Though given his physical appearance and distant behaviour, “healing” was a strong word for now…

 

Aaron dragged him out of bed with some kind of patience he rarely offered to his chubby friend, being used to his “grumpy” days or his sick periods’ temper. Usually, he would find a new amusing and creative way to get him out of bed every once in a while. Water bucket, heavy metal songs, horror movie screams…

It was mean. Especially considering morning Madison was twice as sensitive as a regular Madison. But could you really blame Aaron when the results of such action were either a pouty baby or a shaking little mess of curves and fluff only craving some kind of hug?

 

James was in as good a mood as a Heartless man could be, smiling emptily and trying to eat whatever he could manage to not to endanger his health. Yet the farther away from your Heart you were, the most dangerous it could get. With the owner not touching it, or no kind of contact at all being made for a long time, the incapacity to “feel” could drive someone mad or create deep traumas.

 

The stealer hadn’t touched the Heart since last morning, when James had felt a strong wave of hatred and anger assault him. Since then, nothing, and he couldn’t say which was worse: feeling the dangerous emotions, or not feeling at all?

 

It is important however to note that someone whose Heart has been broken or stolen can still feel, but in a different way. In such an emotion based society, human contacts were of paramount importance, and “feeling” through your Heart helped feel safe, secure, confident or even happy, despite all the negative effects caused by such an exposed sensitive situation.

 

The two room mates left for college, walking close to each other. One person with no apparent Heart was a thing, two people were another. To answer to basic social expectations, James would wear his Heart to college, and Aaron would just take it with him just in case. Usually, flirtatious horny a*sholes stay in line in professional areas, and few one-night-stand seekers and other creeps walked the main streets at such early hours.

But today, both of them wore no Heart, and James’ obvious discomfort despite his effort to keep a calm composure was affecting Aaron. He’d never felt the need to wear his Heart, and yet he was almost feeling the same need for social security as James right now.

 

Complete strangers were staring at them, and each time they passed by some obnoxious groups of girls or boys, Aaron would tense, begging for whatever higher power to have mercy on James and make that they wouldn’t try to slut-shame them or even make an advance on them.

 

Despite his hope, Aaron was forced to realise college wasn’t such a save haven when it came to Heart loss. Of course, he was expecting people to know about the affair, as James was the first “case” in the city in twenty one years, but he would have hoped for these gossip seekers to stop staring.

Burr could understand each look: pity, disgust, shame, compassion, mockery. The only thing he could do was to clench his fist and stand still, hoping that James was too far gone or well-thinking to notice any of these.

 

The morning classes, as said before, went by quickly, thanks to Burr’s tension. Knowing they would soon be in friendly territory, with popular _Heart-wearing_ people around them, made him feel safer.

He had promised himself not to wear his Heart, so that James wasn’t alone. The real reason though was that he wasn’t sure he could be able to protect James if someone was to touch his own Heart. After all, it had been a while since he had felt “negative” emotions from other people… And he simply couldn’t risk James being defenceless… Not right now.

 

Aaron quickly dragged James to the bar, mentally hoping it wouldn’t be too hard for James to go back to this place. Alex and John were working on the lunch shift on Tuesdays, and none of them four had classes in the afternoon. Plus, it wasn’t such a crowded place during the week, despite the college being near. Ironically, the youth was responsible enough to go to the library or to a coffee shop instead of getting drunk before their classes.

 

Thankfully, James seemed quite calm, and they entered the place to find out that they were in luck: it was indeed mostly empty, apart from an old man sipping a coffee cup at bit away. John was lazily drying a glass, looking up as he heard the little bell jingle.

 

His eyes lit up gently and he smiled.

 

“Hey guys ~~ Enjoy the peacefulness while you can, Laf is on his way.”

 

James nodded with a soft smile and got to sit to a table near the counter. Aaron couldn’t feel more at ease now that they were away from the potential threats of the outside world.

Now at least, they were under a certain protection, as Laurens was wearing his Heart…

 

_Oh._

 

On his belt.

 

Aaron kept his mouth shut for now, quickly deciding that they both actually needed the moment of peace. Yet, it was definitely a matter that was to be discussed, and he’ll make sure of it.

 

James took a big glass of water, as per usual, and while they were all enjoying the calmness, some kind of loud accent boomed into the bar, startling the old man up.

 

“ _MES AMOUUUUURS ~~ VOUS ÊTES VENUS ~~”_

 

Lafayette then proceeded to kiss everyone’s cheeks in a wet yet supposedly formal way, his glimmering grey outfit almost blinding everyone. The older customer quickly finished his coffee, and left a tip before hurrying out. To Aaron, there was no doubt at all the sudden departure was somehow related to the French storm, yet it was unclear to him if the reason was linked to the terrifyingly sparkly outfit or the obnoxious guy’s potential intention of kissing _everyone_ in the bar.

 

John sighed and glared at Lafayette.

 

“You just scared away my only customer...”

 

Lafayette pouted, faking to be deeply hurt and sprawling himself on the counter.

 

“Aw of course not we are here ~~~”

 

John shrugged and got to sit with them at the table, quickly followed by the fashion model.

 

“You guys aren’t customers… It’s on the house for you..”

 

Lafayette beamed, Burr calmly analysing John’s face. If the slight discomfort emanating from him was proof enough, he could tell the freckled man’s generosity was somehow linked to the current situation. James’ situation.

Though it could also be linked to the fact that his Heart was on his damn belt like _oh-my-God_ why was it on his damn belt? Aaron _needed_ answers.

 

Lafayette was faster and surely bolder than him. He simply froze, staring at the belt in an almost comical way, eyes widening slowly.

 

“John. _Oh. Mon_. _Dieu_. Who is it ?”

 

John almost choked on his drink, and honestly Aaron couldn’t help smirking at the flush that spread on his cheeks. Shy and quiet as per his usual distant self, James watched silently, big black eyes slightly lighting up with interest.

 

“W-Who “who”?”

“HIM!”

“W-wha-”

 

John yelped as Lafayette grabbed his hands with a bright, almost twisted smile in Burr’s opinion.

 

“Laurens you are wearing you Heart on your belt! Like… the international “it’s complicated...” Heart position! Whyyyyy so?”

 

John was a mess of weak smiles and stammers, avoiding his gaze.

 

“I-I just wanted to change a bit… Nothing much… hehe...”

 

“Joooooohhhhnnn….”

 

Lafayette whined, pinching his cheeks so hard the other man whined back, and overall the scene was getting ridiculous.

 

“Guys… Can’t I just leave you for one second without getting back to a kindergarten?”

 

Burr looked up to see Hamilton, in a large green sweater and looking as dead on the outside as usual. He was holding four coffee cups, thus defying the laws of physics and basic human coffee consumption rates, and sat down with the most judgemental glare ever. He was never getting coffee at his own bar. Said it wasn’t strong enough…

 

Lafayette stopped complaining and immediately beamed, getting to kiss his cheek.

 

“Aw _mon ami_ ~~ It’s nothing! But have you noticed the emplacement of John’s Heart?”

 

Aaron immediately noticed it. The way Alexander tensed, eyes screwed on his coffee cup. The way John hugged himself discreetly, slight pain glimmering in his avoiding eyes. The tension had drastically increased, and Burr was starting to believe James’ apparently innocent disinterest in the conversation was more of a way not to get involved into the touchy subjects.

 

Lafayette, on the other side, was the most oblivious fool Burr had ever witnessed.

 

“Don’t just growl it off Alex! Aren’t you even slightly interested in the whereabouts of our little gay son’s heart?”

 

The Frenchman had been John’s wingman regarding the SAP, “Seducing Alex Plan”, for years now. He knew how sensitive Laurens was about it, and despite all appearances, teasing Alex about this was just one of Laf’s ways to “open his eyes”, as he called it. Though, through Burr’s analytical perspective, it was clear that he was way too oddly acting to realize John’s obvious glares of distress. Seeing his clear overexcitement, surely the Frenchman had some good news regarding his tailor um… Her… Hercules, if he remembered well. If, of course, the… “beautiful” outfit was evidence enough…

 

Alexander shot him a death glare, eyes shooting daggers.

 

“Well maybe I _do_ care but maybe I’m _not in the mood_ for your teases.”

 

Lafayette fell silent, slightly realizing the level of tension inside the shop. He sat back with a guilty look, as Alexander bit his lip. He smiled weakly and looked up.

 

“Hey Laf I’m… I’m sorry okay… I’m a bit on the edge lately...”

 

He then looked back at the almost shaking John, eyes softening enough for Aaron to twitch a brow discreetly.

 

“I’m super happy for you John… And when you’ll feel safe enough to tell us, I’ll be there to support you...”

 

It was funny, how it sounded like he wasn’t talking about John himself…

The other man looked up, visibly relieved, and smiled back with fond happiness. Lafayette tensed down, chuckling to evacuate the remaining stress. James remained calmly sipping his water, listening.

 

Burr sighed, getting bored.

 

“So Why the emergency meeting Laf?”

 

The effect was immediate, as Lafayette almost bolted off his chair, startling John again.

 

“OH _OUI_! Guys, I need to tell you all about Hercules.”

 

He sat back, looking comically serious. It wasn’t as if they didn’t know _all about Hercules_ already anyway… Though they all paid attention to him now, eyes shimmering as the Frenchman’s excitement was trickling down onto them.

 

“Okay so… You know how I went to his house yesterday and all, and how he made this _super_ pretty suit, like, _just_ for me...”

 

Alex snickered a bit, as John nodded. Burr simply stared. He would never get fashion anyway. Nor love. Though he didn’t think he would exactly be so happy if his “crush” offered him _that_ as an actual _meaningful_ present…

 

Lafayette bit his lip in a failed attempt to keep himself from grinning stupidly.

 

“Well… I think he’s onto me buuuut… I don’t know how to seduce him..”

 

Alexander burst out laughing.

 

“ _YOU_? Failing at seducing someone? I’m sorry Laf but have you seen yourself in a mirror lately? You’re _hot_ as hell!”

 

Laurens gave him the “excuse me bitch?” look but Aaron didn’t point it out.

Lafayette frowned a bit, crossing his arms.

 

“I _know_! But you know he doesn’t use his Heart… And I asked him about relationships, and he said he knew how to understand emotions without his Heart, _just_ after giving me a perfect counter-example!”

 

Hamilton snickered, smirking at him.

 

“And what you gonna do about it?”

“Well I was thinking about stealing his Heart.”

 

There was… a slight silence in the room.

Then a very calm, very casual voice.

 

“I wouldn’t do that.”

 

Everyone turned to James with a shared look of panic, as Lafayette’s face itself had shifted into horror after he realized what he had just said.

But where Aaron had expected James to look angry or pained, he actually just seemed… calm. He was looking at them, as if he was just voicing his opinion.

 

Lafayette cleared his throat.

 

“Um… I mean… You’re surely right James… I wasn’t all that sure anyway...”

 

John and Alex glared at him, judgemental. Then, James looked thoughtful for an instant.

 

“Just try to touch his Heart.”

 

The Frenchman looked back at him, raising a brow.

 

“Touch his Heart?”

“Yes. Make it look accidental, try to look as if you didn’t notice. Of course you should control your emotions not to overwhelm him, but at least give him hints.”

 

Lafayette’s eyes lit up with joy, and he ended up pulling James into a deep embrace, the little man as confused as he was trapped.

 

“YOU’RE A GENIUS MADISON ~~”

 

James tried to smile weakly despite his slow death from suffocation, and John cleared his throat.

 

“But do you know where his Heart is?”

 

Lafayette’ smile dropped and James was lucky he didn’t drop him too. He simply pulled him back on his chair and appeared thoughtful.

 

“I mean… If I’m going to his house more often I could try to find it...”

 

Alex grinned, “Sure ~~ You might even soon know your way to his bedroom ~~”

 

John elbowed him as Lafayette turned bright red and hid his face in his hands. Aaron sighed, feeling way too asexual for their bullshit…

 

“I-I’ll just try then… Thanks guys ~~”, Laf smiled sheepishly.

 

But Alexander was not completely done with his poor friends, and soon he turned a devilish smirk to James.

 

“So now that we’re done with the French mess, how about we focus on our dear little Jemmy?”

 

Aaron tensed. Okay so now, after all the efforts he had put into keeping his mouth shut, this was not fair, and very rude considering James’ situation.

 

Though no one but Aaron seemed to care, as Lafayette beamed again.

 

“OH JAMES ARE YOU INTO SOMEONE?”

 

James flushed deep red, eyes widening in panic.

 

“Yup he definitely is,” Alex smirked, resting against John, “You should have seen him at the library ~~”

 

Burr was mentally scolding the Caribbean asshole, yet it was surely normal for Alexander not to be able to shut his mouth. Still, that didn’t help Aaron’s deep desire to know more.

 

Lafayette grinned wider.

 

“OH NOOO IT’S SO CUTE DO I KNOW HIM?”

 

No one seemed to point out the fact that James had no Heart. Politeness, pity, or simply because they genuinely thought James had a chance without it? Maybe all of the above…

 

James avoided his eyes with a nervous smile, scratching his head.

 

“Um I mean… I’m not into him I… I barely know him um...”

 

John grinned, “Who cares? Drop the name!”

 

James marked a brief pause, looking at his not-so-newly hyped friends, before screwing his eyes on the ground and letting out an inaudible mumble.

 

“Mhommas…”

 

Lafayette whined.

 

“What? Jaaames speak louder!”

“Mhomas...”

“Jaaaaaaames…”

“Thomas. Your cousin.”

 

Lafayette froze, John and Alexander squealing and laughing. Aaron simply smiled softly, happy to see his dearest friend opening up to new people. They were a bit louder than him, but he knew they had the capacity to uplift the most timid people.

 

“Aw I knew it! You guys were _sooo_ gushing over each other yesterday ~~,” Laurens giggled, getting to hug James and hardly rubbing his poor skull.

 

“Though seriously, you could have found better than this purple-loving paper-hater disaster…,” Alex noted with a smug grin, “I wonder how you can even be related, Laf...”

 

Lafayette had been lost in thoughts for a few seconds, then looked up with slightly distressed eyes. Again, Burr kept silent. He _knew._

 

“W-well I mean… He’s a bit bratty… And his fashion sense is surely an absolute mess but… Yeah… It wouldn’t do him any harm to think about someone else than himself…”

 

Truth is, Lafayette was very nervous about this. His cousin had acted weirdly lately, and there was no doubt at all James was crushing on him. Though Laf knew his cousin: his disrespect towards anyone other than himself, his hatred for authority, his slutty behaviour… The exact opposite of himself, and it was indeed ironic that they physically looked so alike. And seeing James, so fragile, tender and new to love, he was really worried about the possible outcomes of such a relationship.

 

James smiled weakly at him, and Lafayette felt his heart twitch in anguish. He tried to smile back.

 

“I’ll talk to him… Don’t worry I won’t tell him up front, but I’ll try to get information for you...”

 

He knew it was surely a bad idea. But again, maybe… Just maybe it’ll help his cousin grow up and open up a little more… There was nothing wrong in trying to make two people happy at once, right?

 

James’ eyes lit up, and he thanked Lafayette shyly, John and Alexander happily chatting over their new ship. Aaron remained distant to the conversation. He didn’t like the way Laf’s eyes had dimmed thinking about his cousin…

 

**

 

Lafayette walked into the luxurious dining room late in the night. The emergency meeting had quite stretched, and honestly he was now feeling a bit guilty about the probable hungover his college-attenders friends were going to experience.

 

He tipsily walked to the table, sprawling himself on a chair and happily pouring himself a glass of water. Lord knew he needed a good glass of water right now… The Frenchman was a hot mess, in every sense of the word, and he didn’t hear nor see the man standing just across the table from him.

 

The said man – his cousin for instance, was wearing nothing but a pair of lavender jeans, holding a fancy glass of wine. The light dancing in his hazel eyes lit his scanning orbs with amber shades, giving him a dominant appearance. And seeing the Frenchman’s poor state, Thomas _was_ probably in a superior position, and well aware of it. Though saying the threat in his eyes was due to mischief only was a strong word, given the fire-like light in the richly decorated room. It looked as if a peaceful fire was igniting the room, and Thomas’ silence wasn’t helping Lafayette notice his presence either.

 

Jefferson was staring at his cousin, half naked and gently making the wine twirl in the glass with a slow wrist motion. Once the Frenchman had gulped down his water, Thomas got up, muscles rolling under his tanned skin. He had always been broader than Lafayette.

 

“Evening, cousin.”

 

The other jumped slightly, looking up and squinting his eyes. He finally recognized his cousin, grinning lazily. His hazel eyes, unlike Thomas’ sharp ones, were lit up with a friendly and clouded shade.

 

“Oh hey Tommy ~~ What are you doing up this late?”

“I’m not a child, Laf,” Thomas snapped back, Lafayette too drunk to notice the sharp tone.

 

The Frenchman got up shakily, getting to hold his cousin’ shoulders.

 

“I saw your little friend, James Madison ~~ Say don’t you think he’s just super cute?”

 

Thomas tensed up, eyes dangerously dimming. He clenched his fists.

 

“No. He’s weak. And pathetic.”

 

_He’s my prey. And I am. Thomas. Jefferson._

 

Lafayette whined loudly, slowly leaning more and more onto him. He didn’t seem to much care about the naked skin under his touch, or maybe he simply didn’t notice.

 

“Aaaw ~~ You’re so mean Tommy… You should try and talk to him again! I think he likes you a loooot~~”

 

There goes Laf’s promise of discretion, spreading over like alcohol in his veins. He caressed his cousin’s cheek gently, hand sliding down to the choker and playing lightly with the Heart. Trying to somehow show the sincereness of his hope maybe…

 

Thomas’ eyes went completely dark, only light being the shiny Heart on his choker. He was used to it. Had been trained to the flood of alcohol in a whore’s touch. The lust, the pain, the mockery, the disrespect. He knew how to deal with people touching his Heart without his consent. And yet…

 

How. Dared. He?

 

How dared Lafayette disrespect him this way? How dared James- his prey, think he was _worthy_ enough to even dare to look at him?

A bestial desire for revenge and dominance flowed through his body like a dangerous feeling of agony, and he grabbed Lafayette’s Heart in the blink of an eye.

 

Though Thomas knew that the Heart Earrings were made to release the Heart upon pressure.

 

So he grabbed the ear with it.

 

Lafayette yelped as he was once more slammed against the wall, ear almost tearing off. Yet it wasn’t the sharp pain of the hand on his sensitive organ that hurt the most. Lafayette’ survival instincts were directed towards a myriad of other sources of despair.

Firstly, the hand on his throat. Heavy, strong, immobilizing his head and pressuring enough to make his breathing difficult.

Secondly, the eyes. Hazel eyes lit with a demonic shade of flame and blood thirst. Jefferson’s face was a few inches away. Lafayette could feel his warm breath, short and murderous, and he could practically hear his hatred.

Then lastly, the hand on his Heart. The torrent of anger, the violent desire to punch him, destroy and wreck him. And behind it, the guilt, the doubts, and the absolute emptiness Lafayette had always ever felt within his cousin. The nothingness, the void that he had desperately tried to fill with his smiles when they were kids. When his big cousin Tommy would stay at the table with the adults instead of playing with him, when he would grab his sleeve and beg for him to come play in the fields, and when the older one would just send him this cold, empty gaze and say…

 

“Don’t. Ever. Touch me again.”

 

Lafayette let out a week gurgle, sob muffled by the lack of air as tears of panic rushed down his cheeks to pearl on his light beard. Thomas let go of him, a large bruise remaining on his cousin’s neck.

 

His eyes burned a little longer on the other’s pitiful frame as Lafayette curled into a ball on the floor.

 

“Y-you… You are never… never gonna heal like t-this Thomas… You… You’ll never be a good man like this T-Thomas...”

 

Jefferson shivered, eyes widening in an unreadable expression. He didn’t need to be a good man.

 

He was… He was…

 

“Just go to bed Laf. You’re drunk…”

 

He started to make his way towards the door. Lafayette looked up, sobbing weakly.

 

“Why… Why don’t you want help? Why… Why do you wish to remain a… alone…?”

 

Thomas stopped.

 

Why?

 

He turned back to face his cousin. A tall, dark and threatening figure towering over the concerned and weak human. His face remained calm and unaltered, chin raised in defiance.

 

“I am not alone.”

 

He was Thomas Jefferson. That was all he needed to be. All he was allowed to be.

 

Lafayette watched his cousin go away with fear and sorrow in his eyes, both for himself, for this ungrateful and misguided loved one he didn’t know how to help anymore, and for the small broken man that had had the misfortune of falling in love with an empty shell.

 

And as Lafayette wept away his helplessness, Thomas grabbed the Heart in his drawer, clenching it tight in his fist as he punched the wall.

 

He wasn’t alone.

He had someone he could _share_ his pain with.

 

He looked down, breath erratic from his anger, burning eyes screwed on the shiny and now bloody artefact in his hands.

 

He beamed. A twisted smile, a mix between sheer folly and hidden relief. He wasn’t alone.

 

He had James.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:
> 
> Mes amours ! Vous êtes venus !: My loves ! You came !
> 
> **** 
> 
> Heyyyyyyy... been...been a while right? *chuckles nervously*
> 
> Well just so you know I still read your comments (and love them~~) and I'm not giving up on this story (and many others still inside my head).
> 
> I'm just like... a master in procrastination hehe... Though I'll try to post a bit more from now on :)
> 
> So yeah... The situation is getting a bit darker... what will our dear gay boys do ?
> 
> YOU'LL KNOW SOON (maybe)
> 
> ... (hopefully)
> 
> Please feel free to comment and leave kudos ~~
> 
> Love you guys ~~


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